Suck in Adventures of New baby and family

Mental health wise I’m maxed out......
I can’t take much more. There is so much going on and 90% is bad.
Work.....I’m so waiting for the fair treatment that they are stalling on.
Home…Well its the holidays presents and insane amount of stuff to get done.
Relationship....He was in ECMC and I’m pissed. They let him out still not able to function properly. I can’t have him at the house. I don’t know where he is. Not that I care. I really need to block him totally but won’t. I don’t know where he’s staying but says he has a spot?? And someone tried to take it. Sigh. To top it off he’s writing me things like I’m a murder and horrible mother and saying all kinds of bad shit about me and then wanting pics of my boobs in the next sentence. The problem is that I have now heard this mental stuff it really is effecting me. I’m trying not to let it bother me but I keep reading it, told it etc… over and over for months.

I’m totally down in the dumps. Struggling mentally now myself. Myself worth....
He told me today I wasn’t much of a caregiver. That I had Munchhausen by proxy and called Alex puffy. That upset me. Why Puffy?? Because of his inhalers for asthma.
He wrote back Alex doesn’t need meds nor do I and Jon doesn’t need therapy. Most of this statement is him. He smokes weed in the basement all day long and of course its in the house. my whole pregnancy was an issue and his lungs are the last to develop. They didn’t get the full shot like the others. Jon is starting to realize what a bully his father is and is acting out. And all of this stems from him being bipolar and Schizoaffective. But there’s nothing wrong with him… He’s far too Superior for that. I’m a murderer, a horrible caregiver a narcissist, self centered and am gaslighting him all the time. I didn’t ask how he was doing so that makes me narcissistic. Over and over I hear this daily. Over and Over what a horrible human being I am. He’s going to blast me in court and tell them what a murderer I am.

Why is he calling me a murderer?? I was married. I loved him. He got sick. It was hard. I was nervous and was on anti depression meds as I was scared he would die when I was sleeping. The fear was real. His blood pressure was all over the place, he had seizures, he would drop calcium and magnesium like crazy putting them into critical levels. Day in and day out I lived not knowing what the future would bring. praying they would give me an answer. He was in pain and I know he would abuse the meds. I tried to stop him from it. There is a big possibility that he OD’ed on the pain meds. Whether by accident or deep down on purpose or maybe it was the illness. I don’t know.. I went to bed that night early having a major headache.....

This asshole is trying to tell people I but them on him to kill him....
As if losing your spouse isn’t painful enough.......
Please accuse me of something I would have never even thought about in a million years