Income Tax Worry. in Since OD is shutting down....

OK so I’m gonna write about my income tax and what I’m worried about. I’m concerned that my child’s father is going to claim my child on taxes. I didn’t have to worry last year because he was behind in child support but he had a conversation with my BF last year about wanting her SSN to claim her and how he felt ‘entitled’ to that money because he’s paid CS. He doesn’t understand how this shit works. I’ve provided over half her support all year and because I’ve been her parent this whole time. Google has informed me that because I’ve provided over half her support and because I’ve had her more than 50% of the time that I’m to claim her unless I were to sign a form to release it to him.

All I know is I’m going to try and get my taxes filed just as soon as I get my W2 and hope that he hasn’t already claimed her because if so, I know my head will fucking explode. I’ve read online about if he does, I’ll have to paper file with a cover letter explaining my situation and the custodial parent usually always wins. I just hope to God that he doesn’t but I think he will if he’s influenced but the main reason he would is to just get at me. He’s proven he will stop at nothing to fuck things up for me and this would just be another damn thing!

I’ve had my daughter every day since she was born and I’ve only ever been away from her to work or dr appointments. I’ve never even been away from her overnight so if he thinks that he’s just gonna claim her and that’s that, he’s gonna be in for a fight. If he claims her and ends up having to pay all that money back with penalties and fees, I’m not going to give a flying fuck because not only is he trying to take from me, but he’s trying to take from our child that I’ve raised by myself while he’s continued on with his life!

I haven’t been in contact with him since the end of October and it’s been blissful. I’ve stopped chewing my nails, I’m eating healthy and have already lost about 10 pounds, I’m more patient and work, and overall just feel better about myself. I don’t plan to contact him ever again because it’s pointless. There’s just no winning with him. He doesn’t want men around her but doesn’t want to be a Dad. He’s never able to help with her but doesn’t want her in daycare. Like it just goes on and on!

It finally hit me the other day when I got a letter saying my rent and daycare was going up and I tried to text him about it and was called every name in the book. I was already having a bad day and he was sure to make it way worse. I just decided that I can’t take his abuse and disrespect anymore and changed my phone number. He realized it because he came knocking on my window a couple of days later where I didn’t open the door. I’m just done. I can’t deal with his selfish/narcissistic/crazy bullshit anymore. It’s just a crazy rollercoaster ride that I can’t subject myself to anymore. I don’t know what the fuck he feels I’ve done to him to deserve any of this but I refuse to allow him to have any more affect over my life.

Anyways, I’m just gonna hope that I file my taxes and I’m able to claim my daughter and that I’m just worrying for nothing but because he’s shown that he will find every way he can to fuck with my life, I do feel there’s a chance for him to make this difficult. I have never in my life met a more evil, crazy, spiteful person and I’ve had a baby with him! I just worry because I don’t think he will ever stop tormenting me.

I am moving forward with my own life and have so much to be thankful for and feel very positive about life and my future with my child. I realized yesterday that this is probably the happiest I’ve been my whole life and I’m not going to let anyone take that from me. I used to be a very negative person that LOOKED for shit to be unhappy about and now, I have way more positive thoughts than negative ones. I like this new side of me and I’m gonna keep on rollin no matter what happens. He’s taken a lot of joy and peace from me and sometimes I get sad when I see girls on Facebook that have daddies for their babies and I don’t, I never did. I’m sad for my daughter that he doesn’t care about her. He doesn’t care like a Daddy should and it kills me. I just try to be the best Mom I can everyday and spend as much time with her as possible because she’s only little for so long and I feel that I have to make up for his absence. I have killed myself trying to get along with him for my daughter’s benefit and he just became meaner and more unreasonable. In his eyes, I can’t do anything right and he’s never had a chance to be a Dad when he shouldn’t have had one in the first place after telling me to get an abortion, calling my child an abomination, absent my whole pregnancy and threatening to kill me when I was in my first trimester. I’ve still overlooked ALL of that and tried to communicate with him and co-parent and I got nowhere. I will not keep trying. For the sake of my mental health, I can not.

I’ve been called fat, ugly, stupid, brain dead, a fat whale, he’s told my friend I wet the bed, I’m a fat pathetic hog…just to name a few. I can’t be talked to like that anymore. His abuse is more than what I think anyone could handle and I’ve endured it as a labor of love for my daughter but to endure and he’s still not there for her is fruitless. I just can’t do it anymore.

Goodnight.