longest drama entry ever #truth in Second 1st

Christmas went well. … I mean as well as it could. Mom came earlier than usual to fix the dishwasher but the part was in Rocky’s car (so I thought). Currently I have no idea where it is because Rocky said he brought it in.

i haven’t had anything significant to report since. Days are all dizzy… dreading Saturday.... glad I’m not working today.... or Friday....

BUT just now one of the worst things .... I did it lol.... I’m stirring the pot.... rocking the boat.... what ever you want to call it… let me tell you the story....

sO...... TODAY like 5 mins ago Sammy called his mom about FAFSA stuff.... (grants from the government for college based on income).... it was a tad frustrating for him as he asked questions and she wanted to answer with paragraphs and not the yes or no answer he was asking for. It became a good bit frustrating being as he just wanted to get done. She had sent him the wrong code so he had to call her back.... about as much annoyance as you can think in one small conversation was happening.... it was like she wasn’t even paying attention. Near the end of the conversation she asked about a SS paper she needed.... Sammy said something along the lines of he’ll get it to her. When he got off the phone I asked him about it .... he said she keeps asking and he’s not sure what she’s talking about. So I thought I would help out and texted her..... this is how that went:

Me: What paper is it that you need from SS for Sammy?
Her: The one that I gave him he said it was in his car??
Her: It was from the court. He needs to call and change his address with SS
Me: He needed the adoption stuff for that last time we tried to get his birth cert. … so he could change his license.... and SS stuff....
Her: They have got to redo his birth certificate they didn’t have it right I had to get the lawyer to turn it back in so I’m still waiting on him to call me about it to get another copy of it but he should be able to use that paper from the court that he has but get him to give it to you until he gets ready to use it.
Me: What is that paper?
Her: It was my copy from the court they were supposed to send a copy to Sammy it’s certified of his adoption.
Me: Yeah… he’s got the first page that describes what it was but swears he gave it back to you ..... he’s just got the top page and the envelope.
Her: No I haven’t seen it since he took it that night
Me: So you will be at an impasse. he doesn’t have it....
Me: I suggest filing for another copy?
Her: That’s why he won’t talk to me about it !! I would have to pay for another copy!!!!
Her: Not me him
Me: I’m sure that has not to do with it. Paying for another copy wouldn’t be an issue. How much is it?
Her: I’m not sure so much a page
Me: I’m 100% positive it’s more that he’s sure you have it and have forgotten where you put it.
Her: no I know I do not have it!!
Her: I keep asking him for it
Me: Do you remember what he needed it for? (this was in hopes that it would jog her memory as to where she might have put it)
Her: He did a report at school about his life yes I do remember some things tell him I don’t forget everything but if he was around me more he would know what I remember and what I don’t.

THIS GOT ME.... this is what she does.... this is all she has done since I’ve known her. This is how Rocky ended up buying the house they lived in when I met him. Guilt and pity. She’s always the victim. Every thing..... every time she talks to any of us. There is always a guilt element. THAT was it for me though. This is the #1 reason I wanted Sammy to move here. This is his whole life. Seriously how is he going to remember everything FOR her.... the paper be damned. The fact that it is nowhere.... It doesn’t matter who borrowed/lost/can’t remember.... that’s not the issue at all here. It’s the you would remember for me part. ..... just got a text back and I’m behind.

After the line that she left to try to make Sammy feel guilty .... seriously that was IT so:
Me: Okay hun I hate to make a point here but I’m about to have to tell you something you aren’t going to want to hear .... and I will text it so you can share it with everyone....
Me: That guilt thing.... it’s why WE don’t hang out
Me: It is no ones fault if you don’t remember… but you make it sound like it’s his because he doesn’t hang around more and remember FOR you?
Me: Why:
Me: You are a strong woman but you have played the victim since I’ve met you. I’ve never understood it.

At least an hour later Her:
I’m not trying to make no one feel guilty or bad and I’m not playing the victim and the remembering part when he was living at home he would come to me all the time asked me where his things was so you wasn’t there so you can’t get what I was talking about so you want to put me down some more jump on that train let’s go I’m not a victim but I am used to being put down so if that makes you feel better honey do it I love all my kids but if it makes him feel better not come around me he have to do what makes him and you feel good I have MG and I have Fabo. There’s no cure for the MG I’m on medicine every four hours for it I had to be changed every so often. My lungs are bad from secondhand smoke. I have asthma I have a COPD emphysema and I don’t smoke. I have terrible migraines medication for that. And I don’t play the victim. It’s just the highlights I know you think you know everything about me but I just wanted to give you a few highlights because you don’t know me and you don’t come around any. I do wish we could be closer but that’s your choice I love RJ and you very much I don’t do guilt trips and things like that but if that’s the way you take them I’m sorry, that’s the way I was brought up and I don’ know if that’s just why y’all take it I’m sorry I don’t mean it to come out like that why it’s coming out you should bring it to my attention when Sammy was at home he would bring it to me because it’s not meant that away so he bring it in that would bring stuff to my tension like it and I would change it and tell him I didn’t mean it like that hey No One is perfect but we could work on it together I would Never do nothing to hurt any of you. Bit I will not be a victim Jennifer I do have bad days and good days just like you do I’m sure.

I pondered this just a bit.... I mean after deciphering it.... and messaged this back

Me: The fact that you felt the need to bring up your medical conditions based on “victim” only proves the point. It has nothing to do with that at all. How do you expect your words to be taken? “He would know if he were here more”. If you don’t mean it “that way” don’t say it. I know I “haven’t been here” what your whole life? Cause I have been the last 10+yrs and have heard it every visit we’ve ever made. Why don’t we have kids yet? Has Rocky lost any weight? Any clue why he hangs up on you when you talk to him sometimes?

It’s been quiet since but I’m sure I’ll hear something.