"THE BRUTAL HONESTY VERSUS STEREOTYPING" in "THE WORDPLAY WARRIOR: The Plot Pieces Called 'Life' "

Let’s just admit it; stereotyping is hard to tackle. Generalising is always there, whether we’d like to admit it or not. Trying to fight it off is as difficult as forcing a lion to go vegan.

We experience this everywhere – every day of our lives. It doesn’t matter which gender, race, creed, religion, nation, or else. Some are simply mean-spirited, literally trying to bring you (and your kind?) down.

Some are just upset with what some certain people do and simplify the matter, categorising them all ‘just the same’. Others are just clueless, especially since they have been raised with all the negative “-isms” regarding those kinds. (Sexism, racism…name them all.)

The first category is the purely hostile ones. It could be from how they were raised. It could be from bad experiences – mostly repeated ones – dealing with certain types of people. The worst could even the combination of both. They’re more than enough to foster the growing, intolerable hatred inside.
After that, it doesn’t matter to some that the kind of people they strongly dislike are not all bad. They don’t even bother add specific quantifiers like ‘some’ or ‘plenty’ to clarify that they don’t mean ‘all’.

“I’m just telling you the truth,” they usually say. “Your people are like that. Sorry you can’t handle my honesty.”

Others sometimes don’t mean to rudely stereotype. They’ve got several – if not too many – awful experiences with the same type of people.

“It’s hard not to stereotype or generalise them,” a friend once admitted. “I keep meeting their kind who act horrible towards other people. Can you really blame me for that?”

It’s tricky, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter if you use quantifiers like ‘some’, ‘plenty’, or whatever. Some people will still take it the wrong way, no matter what your real intention is.

In the end, you have to be as vague and nondescript as possible in order not to offend anyone. That might ruin your storytelling skills a bit, but…oh, what the hell. It’s for the ‘greater good’, eh?
Some others have grown up with ‘false, misleading, and one-sided beliefs’ about certain kinds of people. The toxic cultures have played a major role in shaping their minds. Their elders have taught them so.

“Don’t make friends with people from that religion. They’ll do anything in the world just to convert you.”

“Don’t date girls from that race. They’ve been known to be materialistic.”

“Fat people always eat like hogs…pretty faces usually have no brains…men are all this…women are all that…”

So bloody exhausting, isn’t it? Nobody listens. Everyone always has something to say about each other. The normally-privileged feel threatened, because they’ve been so comfortable with where they are now and refuse to share the societal burden that others are forced to carry – only because they are what people think they should be.

Meanwhile, the oppressed have just had enough of the other party’s blissful ignorance. They’re tired of being looked down on, dismissed, second-guessed, and even worse…gaslighted.
“You’re just too sensitive. You must have thick skin when people say honest things about your people.”

“Oh, I get it. You’re saying those things about my kind just because I told you the truth about yours. Now who’s stereotyping?”

Even if some of the stuff exchanged out there happen to be true, it doesn’t matter. Some people are still offended, even those who start the conversations. Some feelings are still hurt anyway.

So, what do we do now? Honestly, I’d rather focus more on the solution instead of insisting that I’m right (even when I actually am).

Basically, you can’t really change anybody. If some people choose to believe that your kind is awful, then they always do. I don’t mean to discourage you, but sometimes it doesn’t matter if you try to prove them otherwise. They’re not even worth your time nor energy. They’ve already made up their minds and won’t hear a thing from you.

If some people say that plenty of our kind are bad to them or/and other people, as painful as it is – perhaps we need to consider that a serious wake-up call. Perhaps it’s true, even when we’re nothing like them. I’m aware that not all may think like this – or whether anyone should ever thank them for telling. (I know I won’t, even when it’s painfully true.)

Still, it’s sad but true. What we do is not always just about us and ourselves alone. Sometimes, if not more often, it’s treated as a mere benchmark for other people related to or associated with us – either by gender, race, religion, creed, nation, or some or all of the things mentioned here.

You’re right about one thing and I (may have to) agree. Some people just can’t help themselves. Some simply won’t, because self-education is a personal choice.

We can’t control everybody. The only thing we can do is try not to fall into such hideous stereotypes about our kind – whatever it is. Just be kind to people, no matter how tricky and difficult. After that, if they still choose not to bother or simply be ignorant, then it’s their issues – not ours.

Then how do we describe a person who happens to be mean to us – without sounding so gender-biased or racially-motivated or stuff like that, instead of simply reporting what’s real? Well, it probably depends on the context.

For example, if that person is rude to you, don’t associate that with that person’s background or origin. It’s just how they are, eventhough some of their kind might act the same.

However, when you have to describe a crime suspect to the police, you can’t be too vague about their physical descriptions and the language they speak. (Yes, you’re allowed to make your so-called educated guess as you please, but just as far as it can go.) The rest is up to the law enforcement. (Well, although plenty of them seem to be more problematic than helpful these days. See, I’ve just used plenty to avoid stereotyping or generalising?)

Other than that, just keep to yourself if you fear being misunderstood. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or you mean no harm. It doesn’t even matter if some people just love the double-standard, like it’s honesty if they say it and it’s rude if you do. That’s unfair.

Someone is bound to take it the wrong way. It doesn’t matter what you (mean to) say. You can’t please the whole world anyway.

R.

(Written with such intolerable sickness inside.)