i. don't understand. in 2018

so for once. i took my meds at all the times i wanted to. 4, 6 and 7 amazingly enough the lady was back at/before/around 4. like wow. surprised. so no problems there.
so. as we all know my great aunt died. yesterday and. i’m not really sure how to feel about it in the words of rihanna. i keep waiting. for someone to tell me. how to feel about it even though. i don’t like that. i don’t want it to be multiple choice. and i don’t quite get why. i want someone to tell me ‘no you’re supposed to feel this way’. w/e way that is. like no you’re wrong for feeling. w/e. but. like. maybe that’s just my own rigidity i don’t know. no like they disagree w/ how i feel. but knowing me i’d be like ‘what are you talking about? no -you’re- wrong. -you’re- the one whose wrong’. no i know cause i know how i feel except apparently i don’t. right now.
i’m just. i’m one of those people who it seemed like always had the answers. like i knew what to say to people i knew how to handle things. the right steps to take. and apparently i don’t right now. oh i get it.............turns out. adults don’t know what the fuk we’re talking about. we just think we do and i thought everybody ok...........so. ok. when i was growing up a teenager. i thought they knew. the definite the answer. but that’s.
when we get to that point. we don’t. sorry and by ‘they’ i mean/t adults. as when i was 17 i wasn’t. obviously.
i don’t..........i don’t understand the things i do. in the words of that one song from by doobie gray. not always.
so i’m just. confused i guess. is my point.