Roots in Current Events

I suppose that I like to shrink my surroundings when I’m feeling stress. It sunk in last night how small my life has become. I am not living. I do not even know how I would become larger than life. I’m not even connected to people online. I do not want to return to social media because it will make me feel even smaller. I haven’t even looked at myself in a mirror at all this month. Not the whole picture anyway. I just can’t. I wanted to be focused on other stuff that I keep hiding from which is probably why I have been experiencing anxiety.
There have been some pretty big changes at work since that Operations Manager fiasco. My assistant filled me in on what my boss has to say about me. I didn’t realize how salty and petty that bitch was. He’s mad that I am not content about how he runs things. He’s mad that I didn’t thank him for the gift card he sent his wife to give me. I was waiting to do that in person but now I understand why he is not responding to my texts. This is all so petty and I’ve been wanting to quit this place for 5 years now.
Deep down what I really want to do is move to a different city. I want a clean slate. My slate is pretty clean right now to be perfectly honest. My roots here in Winnipeg are not deep at all… Just typing that made me feel lighter. I really do have the opportunity to just do that. The only thing holding me back is fear. I keep saying this but I actually can’t wait to just see that damn therapist already. I will say what I got to say! I will do what I got to do! I will put in the damn work! Anything but medication.