Soul Searching *edit in Hello

Started second shift tonight. Only four of us, three machinist and one fabrication guy. Wasn’t bad.

Been thinking a lot today…

It’s no secret this year hasn’t been particularly good for me. Bad situations abound, the truly screwed part is they were all avoidable. The common denominator, alcohol.

I don’t normally bother with New Year’s resolutions but this time I’m making some and sticking to them.

1. 2019 is the year I quit drinking. December 17th will be my new sobriety day. Why now? Well, I’ve felt like absolute shit all day, defecating blood (lovely, I know), light headed and felt like passing out. But two factors really, it’ll be my 36th birthday in two months and it’s just embarrassing to admit how much this addiction has a hold over me, a grown man. Lastly, my therapist refuses to see me till I quit. Therapy going nowhere. If I can give up smoking weed daily four months ago, I can beat this. Besides, the December date will give me something to celebrate even though I despise Christmas.

2. I’ve not touched my guitar AT ALL this year. I’m going to start playing on a regular basis again. Have even filled a few pages in my work notebook with songs I’d like to learn/relearn. Have even been kicking around the idea of recording me playing and uploading the content to Youtube, though I’m not so sure. I’m a bit of a private person and hate the ‘In your face’ attention seeking type of personalities YT attracts.

3. My keyboard has been collecting dust since I got it four years ago for Christmas. I need to start playing again.

Anyways, I’m really tired and really cold so I’m going to crawl into bed after my thousandth trip to the restroom tonight.

Edit

Forgot about this.
4. Around my birthday, get tattoo number six. Can’t believe I got that many.

I got to bed roughly after four AM then proceeded to wake up like every hour. It’s 11:47 AM and yes, I’m still beat. Uuuuugh!

Last updated December 18, 2018