Last stretch home in In My World

Out of nowhere I got this dizzy, foggy feeling and I’m breathing fine but it makes the air feel heavy. It’s hard to focus on anything other than my phone or the pain in my back. Signs are blurry.

I’m not having a panic attack, I’ve had plenty of those before. I’m also not having a motion sick moment because I’d recognize that one too…

Its freaking me out.

5 things.

5 things I can see: glow from my phone screen, ambient blue light in the car, headlights from the car on the other side, Lizzie reach over to change the air temp, 5 blurry road signs

4 things I can feel: pressure on my temples and in my face, pain from between my shoulder blades to my lower back, my foot going numb from being crossed under my other leg, jump in my stomach from the car speeding up.... 60 in a 45. Big surprise there.

3 things I can hear: she sneezed, 100 in a 55, the vibrate sound from the grooves in the road… rumble strip… that’s what they call it.

2 things I can smell: Protector (I have his hoodie on… it smells more like home than him but its comforting to think of him) and cold air.

1 thing I can taste: stale cold air.

I can always tell when shes speeding because my stomach does the jump like when you go over that hill on route 20 (no one is going to get this… oops). It makes my body think it’s in danger and I would be lying if I said I wasnt a little afraid.

Protector is sleeping so he can’t calm me down and I’m not really panicing anyway. The dizzy bullshit happened before we stopped.

I have this bad feeling I can’t shake and I just want to get home safe.

We argued some over how long it took to get home from our last stop. An hour if you do the speed limit. It’s been 25 minutes and we only have 15 left.

I have a great dislike of speeding unless you’re keeping up with traffic on the highway.

5: 13 min, blue sign too brite to look at. Christmas lights, Walmart near home, tail lights of someone speeding more than us

4: low vibration of the car, pain in my back, stomach is tense, cold shoe against top of my ankle

3: nickleback, her singing along, low vibration of the car

2: honey cough drop and stale cold air

1: fear.

I needed to get out of my head for a while.