slightly medicated. and other stuff. side effects. in 2018

um. so i watch. [well it’s more like observe really. as in this instance ‘watch’ sounds a bit harsh. anyway.]. yeah so earlier tonight i observed. The lady putting the um. mouthwash into the spoon and then putting that. into the little bottle cap of the um bottle. and yeah i don’t think that’s 5 ml. really. and i know that bc. at my mom’s it’s taken me longer to put that into my mouth then it does here. i don’t want to come off like i don’t trust the lady when she does that but. well i don’t. I’m not allowed to see the spoon/bottle unless she’s taken it all out in order to ‘measure’. it out. which to me seems stupid. but ok. btw. the lid. doesn’t have those horizontal measuring lines on it. it’s not the medical/health part that’s such an issue for me. it’s the accuracy.
also. I even did the math. and apparently there are something like 94. ml in a lb. which is how much is in the bottle. so if i take it 3x a day then that’s......... 437.18 ml in a lb. rather. 16 oz. well by um. yesterday i should’ve had 5.39 left. which isn’t all that much. so while we were both in the kitchen um last night. i picked the bottle up and then set it down. and there was quite a bit left in there.
unless my, math is off is. the thing that’s off.
so um side effects. well I haven’t really had much other then feeling slightly intoxicated. it’s weird. doctors are like ‘don’t drink don’t do drugs’...........and then they prescribe something w/ alcohol in it. that is a drug. yes alcohol’s a drug. it’s also weird cause the lady doesn’t allow drinking in her house. i’d think. that would also go for unopened alcohol. but.......yet......... the any mouthwash has alcohol in it. even if it is prescribed. so basically. they’re giving me permission to consume a slight bit of alcohol. she is cause it’s in the mouthwash any mouthwash. not sayin anything cause honestly i like this.
oh right so I had a house meeting earlier. um today. and the only thing Nia asked in regards to the mouthwash was how that had been going and I said ‘ok’. even if something’s going well i’ll say it’s going ‘ok’. And then. She went on to ask me something about if I needed reminders to take it. Which. I think I can handle that kindof thing my myself. It felt v. …..idinno. like . it comes off like i’m not able to. i think i’m intelligent enough to remind myself of the time. in whatever way i do it ya know? i’m not stupid. and she’s like ‘well i’m just trying to help’. well don’t. believe me i think i can handle it. also someone either does or they don’t. or they start to. or they make an effort to. cause yeah effort-ing that should totally be a thing. no i’m serious it should be. there is no ‘try’. like when someone goes ‘well i tried to call this person’ really it’s not all that bloody difficult to do. no they either did or they didn’t. but anyway. yes. effort-ing. feel free to use it i hope it catches on. i’m not a big fan of the word ‘try’........but yeah. i got this. in regards to reminders and such.
um. oh so my time out has increased it’s now 5 hrs. and it will either increase or stay the same. every month. instead of every 6 months like i’d thought. and up untill today. like 6 months is a long time to wait. so it’ll only increase if i call and check in. which in the last few months i was sometimes doing. But here’s the thing. they want me to say exactly where i am. right well the reason I don’t is cause I’m paranoid the lady’s going to come and find me. like well if something happens back at the house when i’m out. then she, can be the one to call me. and ask, where i am. also i might be at the store and then 20 mins. later be at starbucks or on the bus. i don’t feel secure w/ telling her where i am. I like that during my time out she doesn’t know. yes that’s the whole point. i’m not some 12 yr. old who needs to be looked after.
oh we talked about the bus thing. I was under the impression that. for the bus that’s not the city bus. [cause yes. i take the other, bus from the walgreen’s to my mom’s/my psych. appt. and then back again. um anyway.]. that. there’s a form that the lady fills out and on that form there’s a box that says ‘do not leave alone’ and. the person checks that box if it’s ok to leave the person alone. which i’m really ok w/ the bus dropping me off at walgreen’s and just leaving. I actually prefer it. which sometimes they do. yes but I want them to always do it regardless of the bus driver. again i’m not 12. and it’s in a well lit area. [i wish they had a bench actually inside the walgreen’s entrance lobby thing the entryway but that would only take up more space. it’s stupid they don’t. inside is warm but i really don’t like standing. um.]. so. the problem i have w/ that is that they don’t always. do that. oh and evidently. there’s not a form. so.
um. oh so the large amount I mentioned. in my bank acct. [which for maybe obvious reasons i won’t say how much it is.]. it’s not money I owe. It’s extra money I have. see my rush w/ that is. if i don’t spend it sooner rather then later. something not good will happen. so. yeah. Nia’s not sure if i owe them money but she’ll find out and let me know at the next meeting. which is jan. 7th. if i don’t then great. if i do then ok it’s not my fave thing but well. that’s how things go sometimes.
btw. i looked up the prognosis of scurvy and apparently. it’s really good. the prognosis that is not. obviously the other thing. i’m feeling less drunk tonight from............from the meds. er the mouthwash rather.