"THE 37-YEAR-OLD ME" in "THE WORDPLAY WARRIOR: The Plot Pieces Called 'Life' "

I didn’t want to write this at first. I thought it would be a waste of time. Well, here it is:

So I finally turned 37 last month. Big deal. Three years before 40. So what? It’s just a reminder of the day you were born, year after year.

“It’s three years before your retirement,” said a friend one day. However, writers never really retire. It’s more than a job for some of us.

It’s a calling.

If you live in Indonesia as a single, 37-year-old woman, always be ready for more scrutiny. It’s always been there. People will always have something to say about your life and how you’re supposed to run it.

They can try to force you to focus on what you still haven’t got at this age, in hopes they’ll take away your happiness and make you feel sorry for yourself. In reality, we all lead different lives. Sure, society will always have their impossible standards. It’s still your choice to follow suit or else.

As a 37-year-old single woman, this is how it is for me:

I have an interesting life, surrounded by interesting people. A lot of my friends now are more varied. Old ones are mostly busy with their families, but that’s okay. That’s just a part of life. The current and new ones I mostly hang out with are…younger. Am I in denial? No. (That’s okay, though. You’re not obligated to believe me.)

Many Indonesians will probably still look at me and wonder: “What is she doing with them? Most women her age are home with their husbands and kids.”

You know what? They don’t get to decide my life. They never have.

Neither do I. All I know is, this is that, I have these roles to play. I’m a teacher, a translator, and a writer. A friend to (hopefully) plenty. A(n amateur) poet. A big sister, even to some of the non-blood-related ones. A romantically-challenged skeptic who will always question and challenge the existing ideas of romance and love versus reality.

A single person with possibilities. Yes, I believe there are still plenty for me. A lifetime student I can also be. I intend to do all with no regrets. Nobody has to like or accept how I am or all I do. Just deal with it, because this just how it is.

R.