Talking in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

UFDA!

Today… was a busy, hectic, crazy day. Made worse by my half day yesterday.

Don’t get me wrong, the half day yesterday was good! I was in terrible pain, I went home, my Wife showed me deep and legitimate concern, and I soaked and rested feeling worlds better. That was good.

But this morning was all hearings and then this afternoon, while I’m trying to file paperwork… it is just phone calls and e-mails and emergencies everywhere.

I had to start THREE new juvenile cases.... Juvenile Cases are incredibly complicated to start. It requires reporting on the child, the parents, the incident, the history, the DHS case… in short… one detailed Child case can take at least an hour of paperwork. So… at 4:30 was the first time I stopped “racing” in the office. Which meant it was time to go home?

And at home have Wife greet me by telling me about things I needed to do. As my cell phone no longer allows me to access a shit ton of stuff (again, what the fuck is going on?!) and as my laptop literally just completely stops working EVERY FIVE MINUTES a lot of Wife’s honey-do list was going to just piss me off. Especially since I had my own list of things I need to do. Like… shopping for Christmas Presents, scheduling repairmen and installers, calling my parents since my dad had surgery today. I’M SORRY THAT I DON’T WANT TO DROP EVERYTHING TO CALL THE CABLE COMPANY TO FIND OUT WHY THEY SENT ME A BILL FOR LAST MONTH?!

And… yeah, a lot of my frustration and anger comes from (1) the fact that I had almost no down time today and (2) simply writing this GOD FORSAKEN sentence has taken approximately 3 minutes and four seconds on this clunking, staccato piece of shit! And trying to load websites? Fucking forget about it! Ten minutes and still a shitty little “wait or kill page” box. THIS, dear friends, is the difference to me between Comfort and Wealth. Presently, Wife and are I comfortable. House, food, water, transportation, etc. WEALTHY would mean.... I could buy a new wardrobe for whatever size I was that year… I could just replace all my shitty laptops with brand new units whenever a unit was being a bitch… COMFORT is having enough to meet your needs while also providing financial buffer to provide for things you want. WEALTH is having enough to purchase whatever you want whenever you want it.

Right now? I just want to read some things, relax, and maybe crank it. Yeah, I said it. Because that is something else. A little physical comfort and tenderness can go a long way for someone’s psyche. But I’m trying to remain patient, kind; give us a chance. But the patience of my heart and the patience of my head and libido are… certainly different things.