alrite. well as a 31 yr. old woman. *health. dental* in 2018

that’s right i said it. i’m 31 now. [well actually i’ve been 31 since aug. 17.]. no but. i’ve heard that. for women in their 30’s. they lose well bone. ok well.........the last time i had x rays taken at the dentist [which actually was on mon.]. they said. i had bone loss. and i was thinking about it and well that doesn’t make sense. since i’ve been doing a lot better w/ brushing over the past 2 yrs. since i was. um 29.
yeah but thing is. women in our 30’s do lose bone. and it’s not our fault. i don’t want anyone to feel bad about it. but ya know. it’s. our reality. sure i’m not super old but i’m not young either. i’m not old i’m just. not 21 anymore. obviously.
so ok. so at my mom’s. yes i do eat cheese. and hell even at where i live. i do. [well ok so in the form of parmesan. w/ pasta. but hey i figure. that counts.]. i just. i can’t be that person who. threw that to the wind as it were. threw caution to the wind. no that’s not an option. i’m not where i should be but i’m sure as hell not where i was. either.
so. i think. it’s not a bad idea, for me to get my bone density checked. at some point...........maybe some day. i’m curious and interested. but ya know. i don’t feel this huge compulsion for it to get checked either. [btw. weirdly enough. 3 or more glasses/cups of milk. and i mean 8 - 16 oz. of milk in w/e form it comes in. oddly enough that actually lowers, women’s mortality. and yet. w/ cheese or butter or eggs. it’s not that way and i’ve forgotten why..........i’ll look it up.].
ok so this whole. bone, thing didn’t happen at 30. no it happened, before 30. sure i can blame being in the 3rd decade of my life all i want but............honestly. no that’s not it. it’s just that now. i should be a lot more careful about that. oh no pressure there at all. and ya know. i have no one to blame but me, it’s partially genetic but it’s also. external forces. [cause cmon.].
i. idinno. i’m not proud of this decision. but it is what it is and here i am. i’m not proud that i have this [say it] bone loss. but. so be it. really though. one of the best things i can do is walk. and i do walk. i walk...........um. 2 3x a wk. i’m a fairly active person in that regard. i don’t consider that ‘excsercise’ as that’s not something i have to work at.
but as long as i keep doing it and keep eating more. then i should be alrite. not great but. [wow vague much? well. ok yes.].
i’m considering deleting this entry bc........
i’m uncomfortable w/ this entry bc.........
well. yes bc i wasn’t stable i guess. i wasn’t. level. which is similiar to having been responsible. so. but like what was i supposed to do change my genetics? no one can. that’s. just not possible.
i. at 29 i should’ve done better and now i am.
yes but that means. doing even better. in regards to my bone health. cause i’m a 31 yr. old woman. i don’t like admitting my age but. ok. here we are.
again. i can’t ever be ‘alrite’. or ‘ok’. no i have to be more, then that. so it’s really. more me, as a perfectionist then. the other stuff. so..........just, psych. more um. psychological, then anything.
thing is. i’m exactly where i should be. bu t but to me. it doesn’t feel that way. and that’s ok. i have anxiety and this is part of it and not everyone gets it. [btw. for anyone/everyone who comments on this. please don’t use the word ‘relax’. anything else is fine. ‘breathe’, ‘chillax’, ‘calm down’. yeah no those are all ok.].