well shit. fuk. 114. in 2018

so um. fuk it’s been a long day. um. long day. so i met. my new dr. Mary. she’s quiet seems sweet. she’s Hispanic maybe Mexican. [as opposed to from like. Latin America which is why i’m clarifying. and fuk that was today? my god] she um. asked me if i’d been sexually active which no i have not not since i was 25 and that’s. when i was raped. 2 days before xmas eve i didn’t tell her that though and she. didn’t ask. yeah thanks for that reminder. reminders are hard. idinno though i don’t dislike Maria er i mean Mary. [who i keep thinking of as ‘Maria’.]. it’s just. i was so used to Megan ya know? [or maybe you don’t know.]. no um but. my point being Megan was my previous hygenist. and she’s. obviously not anymore. er hygenist. sorry i meant dr. yes she was my previous. dr.
right so i got a flu shot they took my weight. which i never want to know but last yr. it was 109 apparently. and this yr. it’s um........ 5 lbs. above. not that that’s like. huge or w/e no i’m still. a thin woman i’m just not. n like anorexic thin. yeah and ya know. i miss that. i never want to know my weight.............and Megan knew that. so we never talked about the. the exact numbers.
see? this is why i didn’t want to know. is bc. well. if the number is in my opinion ‘too high’ then well fuk i need to lose a few pounds. [yes i know that doesn’t make much sense to anyone who’s not a recovering anorexic. no i get it.]. but if it’s too low then. oh i need to actually gain, some weight. yes that’s right i said gain. you know you’re a recovering anorexic when......... when that happens.
um oh yeah. so i have this ear thing, goin on. in that. i have a quite a bit, of wax built up. damn no wonder i can’t hear. and the interesting part is. it’s in my right side which is the side i hear better, out of. it’s only the second time this has happened. so they partially cleaned it out but. i have a follow up for that dec. 3rd. yeah so she [Mary/Maria] and Celeste her assistant lady. asked about...........gyno exams in that if i’ve ever had one. uhm well yes like 4 or so yrs. ago. and i said ‘well i started to’ and Maria’ finishes w/ ‘it was difficult for you’. um yes. it was difficult for me. considering my past. no really? sorry.
i was so confused. no not about that no i mean. bc i thought my dental was at um 10 cause cause that’s what i had on my phone, calander. but then the lady drove right past the dental office and i got all confused and panicky. and then when. ............um. when. we got to the hospital where the uh. ..................dr.’s office [i really don’t like hospitals] is. i realised. oh so apparently we are um. ....................... going to the dr.’s first. which in a way i prefer bc of the weight thing. that’s the thing i get the most nervous about.
um so when they were removing the. my. my earwax [like i said long day] i kept getting nauseaus. and so i had to stop like 2 or 3 times. see this is why i don’t like things being in my ears. bc then i get nauseous and then i get sick and then. well yeah.
um yeah so then. we went and picked up......... patti [new roommate] and jennifer. and then. onto my dental. so ok. we’d left at 9:10 and by the time we got to my dental it was..............12:40. so i’d already been out um.............3.5 hrs. by then,
my dental idinno. i have this tooth thing to get taken care of. it’s this infection. thing. and i have an appt. on wed. w/ my perio. for him to look at it. The reason i’m not saying much about it is bc, then i’ll think about it and then i’ll freak out and worry and then. well that won’t help so. but i’ve read. about the removal of excess tooth. stuff so i know what i’m in for. i like my perio. i trust him and that he knows what i’m doing. er i mean that he’s doing yes i trust. that he knows what he’s. doing. i’m hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. it’s the.......... lower um......... left, portion. of my teeth/mouth. [btw my mom knows about this.]. and who knows the best actually might happen. i sure hope so. i just well fuk. other then that everything’s ok - good regarding that, thing that um. aspect of my life.
uh so by the time we got back. it was 3:40. and honestly i didn’t want to get anywhere after the long 6.5 hr. or so day i’d had.
oh yeah so at the...............dentist holly my hygenist lady. she took xrays. and i. got nauesous cause if something is set too far back in my mouth then. well yeah i’ll. um get nauseous like i just said. so ugh. that took like 20 mins. cause i kept having to pause. but she was really good about it. this is my problem w/ brushing my molars. is. i get. nauseous. [which you know. leads to problem areas. no that’s my point that’s why it’s a problem area.].
um so yeah. long fukin day. my god it’s been a long day.