Pressured to have kids.. Idk what to do. in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

I am 31 years old no children. Most my friends pressure me to have kids. My biological clock screams at me. Deep down i wish i had children when i was younger but i didnt. I felt like the men i were dating wouldnt be good fathers over the years. I was afraid i couldnt afford to feed a kid after they were born.Everyone swears i will hit monopause soon. I been debating on going to doctor to test my fertility. Most women in my family dont hit menopause still the late 30s early 40s.

I was debating on buying prenatal in case a happy little accident happens with my husband. If i decide to eventually get pregnant i want to lost 50-60 pounds first. I weigh 193 pounds currently. I dont want an unhealthy pregnancy because of my weight. It is strange to admit i want to lose weight just to gain it back because pregnancy?. . i want experience being a mom. I dont want judged for trying to raise a family.

Everyone says waiting to be financially stable to have kids then kids will never happen. If i want kids get on welfare. I always felt welfare helps people from starving and help people get by till they are back on their feet. I never saw welfare as a back up plan because i want a child.

My friend tease i am the cool childless aunt to their kids. That sound cool and all but due to my sister in law Lesa and brother Tommy infertility i feel pressured to have a kid to continue the bloodline. It would be a shame the family be forgotten due to my greedy needs.

Talan tells me come to the bedroom he can put a kid in there no problem. I fear i cant handle the responsibility i fear i wont be a good mom. Stupid biological clock leaves me struggling with myself. What if i wait to long never get a child?

I guess i could adopt. I am not above adoption. Not all blood is family. Stupid biological clock messing with my brain.

Please dont be rude to me. I am seriously trying to decide whether to be childless or not.