It won't be like this for long in In My World

I have so much that I need to do this week and instead I keep getting so stressed out that I completely shut down and can’t deal with any of it. I keep trying and then it turns into me reading the same fucking paragraph 5 times in a row and then not retaining any of it because I havent been able to focus on anything of substance in days.

I’m trying so fucking hard.

Im so goddamned lonely and angry and just sad. Just so sad.

Havent seen Boyfriend since the 30th. No fucking idea when I’ll be seeing him again. He keeps saying hes tempted to come here but he never will. I cant even fight this shit, I just get to wait.

My back hurts so fucking much and its been almost a week with no relief. Ibuprofen doesn’t help at all and neither does heating pads. I know its tension from anxiety but I cant make it stop.

I’m trying to avoid all the big scary heavy shit going on because I dont k kw how to deal with it by myself. Between the stress, loss, grief, and fear I just cant.

I keep telling myself it wont be like this for long but I feel like I’m losing both of them and I dont know how to stop it.

That’s all I can think of for now. I’m going to go cry until I fall asleep for the 3rd night this week.

It wont be like this for long.