A change of perspective in A new start

I decided to make my life book private. In thinking about what I wrote it was very adolescent like. I’m not an adolescent anymore. Haven’t been in a long time. So now I’m starting a new book and hopefully it actually seems grown up.

I am currently married and have two kids. I have been married to my husband for nearly two years now. They have been very rough. He has trust issues galore from his previous marriage. Trust issues are a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes he can be mentally abusive to me but we talk it out. As poor of communicators we are we can talk some things out. I guess it takes a bit for us to feel like we need to talk about things. I use a calm quiet voice to talk to him and it helps, I don’t jump off the handle and get defensive. We had hit a low point for a little bit. We were essentially roommates. Not even friendly roommates. We are working on that now.

What makes it hard is he is depressed. He is on his second med for his depression and we aren’t sure it’s helping much anymore. He also has anxiety meds for just in case but probably should be on permanent ones. He got depressed after his first marriage. She did something to him. She cheated on him. He found out and kicked her out. She took his 3 boys and doesn’t let him have any contact with them. Because he is such a horrible guy. Yeah no. I don’t know her reasoning. But it is frustrating. He needs to talk to a counselor or therapist. Someone. Hell he can talk to me but I don’t know what to say to help things out. So it’s fun.

This last week has been really hard. My youngest daughter was playing on a neighbors trampoline and fell off. She broke her arm. She had to have orthopedic surgery. It was very stressful on me. Yet he had to make it about him. I told him he could have asked how I was. He could have showed concern for me. But didn’t. Things are straightening back out now. My daughter is recovering nicely.

On to a new issue not involving him. My youngest insists on sleeping with grandma. She can’t sleep without her she claims. This started about a month ago. I don’t know what to do about it. My mom will be on vacation for 8 days in a week or so what am I supposed to do then? Tonight I told her to go to bed because she was tired and she starts crying she can’t sleep alone. I told her to go to bed. My oldest tries to help by letting her sister talk to grandma. Grandma says she can come over and sleep with her. I’m like give me a break she needs to get over this. I dread when my mom is on vacation. My child has to be able to sleep in her room, or even her sister’s room. But no she will only sleep on our couch. Grr!

Yep. Thats life in a nutshell. But hey I have a job that I enjoy. For once.