On Words and more surveys! lol in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

When I’m not feeling well, things become… weirder. Even without medication. And yeah, I’ve not taken any medication for any symptoms.

My typing gets worse, for one. Typically, I’m a rapid paced typing guy with limited mistakes. Feeling poorly? Mistakes increase exponentially.

Worse is that my understanding of things is slightly warped. A sentence that may read one way normally, will read differently. For example “Wanted: One Large Puppy” I think “What?! Why would somebody arrest a puppy? The hell?!”

But I just got another one while skimming BBC Headlines.
Headline: US mother arrested for missing son’s murder

I read that and thought: What? Like… how would you even arrest someone for not being present at their son’s murder? The fuck?

Yeah. WRONG INTERPRETATION OF WORDS, Counselor! lol The son was missing, the mom was arrested on Homicide charges, the State alleging that the mother killed the son who is missing. Yeah. Needed a minute to get my brain there, lol.

If I were a stone, I would be: Soapstone

If I were a tree, I would be: Cherry Blossom Tree

If I were a bird, I would be: A Cormorant

If I were a flower, I would be: A White Rose

If I were a kind of weather, I would be: A hail storm

If I were a mythical creature, I would be: A Werewolf

If I were a musical instrument, I would be: A Hurdy Gurdy

If I were an animal, I would be: A dog

If I were an aquatic animal, I would be: A Mollusk

If I were a color, I would be: The darkest version of purple

If I were an emotion, I would be: Lethargy

If I were a scent, I would be: An earthy, dirt like smell

If I were a vegetable, I would be: A Leek

If I were a fruit, I would be: A Plum

If I were a sound, I would be: that low groan of a house settling

If I were an element, I would be: water

If I were a song, I would be: Air on the G String

If I were to trade places with another person, it would be: Zachary Haroutunian

If I were a movie, I would be: Primal Fear

If I were a novel, I would be: Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

If I were a play, I would be: Much Ado About Nothing

If I were a musical, I would be: Avenue Q

If I were a food, I would be: Pad Thai

If I were a place, I would be: Marietta, Ohio

If I were a material, I would be: Velcro

If I were a taste, I would be: Sweetly bitter like a fancy coffee

If I were a religion, I would be: Zorastrianism

If I were a word, I would be: trillotrichomania

If I were an object, I would be: An old stapler

If I were a body part, I would be: axons

If I were an expression, I would be: a cheeky wink from a stone faced stern looking old man

If I were a subject in school, I would be: Classic Literature

If I were a cartoon character, I would be: Elfo

If I were a shape, I would be: A polyhedron

If I were a number, I would be: 367,429,872

If I were a month, I would be: March

If I were a day of the week, I would be: Tuesday

If I were a time of day, I would be: 1:25 p.m

If I were a direction, I would be: 3 degrees west of Southeast

If I were a sin, I would be: all of them muahahahahahahahahahahahaha

If I were a virtue, I would be: Compassion

If I were a historical figure, I would be: Lady Vastra (lol)

If I were a liquid, I would be: Glacial Water

If I were a method of death, I would be: drowning