same feelings/every time it rains in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done. june 29, 2015 in Evan

‘ this is. actually about evan.

ok so back in april I made one of the hardest decisions i’d made in awhile. I didn’t want to. no. but I needed to. what he and I had. it just wasn’t working for me. we’d fight and then when we didn’t i’d wait for him to call. [i know people know this. i’m getting to a point]. or text. or get back to me on something. or he’d get upset and flighty. and I got tired of the whole back and forth Jekyll & hyde thing.
it didn’t work anymore. which implies that there was a time when it did.it had.

so. one day in april I toldhim that. that it wasn’t working for me anymore. ad he was. really great about it really understanding. super nice. which makes it harder for me. even though we didn’t break up cause well we were never together it felt like we had. and it still does. it’s been almost 3 months [july 11th].
and it still hurts. every time it rains as it were. every tme since then he’s called and we’ve actually talked. it feels. weird. like 2 exes talking again.

so the most recent time he called me which was like. the 20th. I think I told him this and he goes ‘same feelings’ [you have to hear it to get how cutesy it is]. he’s not a v. um. emotionally expressive person. he doesn’t you know. talk about his emotions. he’s not like ‘well this thing happened and it really annoyed me’. no instead he gets flighty.

but. idinno. it was nice to hear that he eluded to having the same feelings I did about this. a lot of people might not understand. the way he is. and I don’t even fully get it myself. but I get it more than others bc I know him. better than they do. ‘