oysters rock-a-fella in poetry

the good news is yes, the world is your oyster
the bad news is an oyster is a little bit of snot
trapped in an angry rock people pretend is delicious
just to gross you the hell out

the good news is yes, the world is your oyster
the bad news is oysters are mostly just there so
rich folk can tilt heads back and joylessly slurp them down
as fast as possible, just to prove that they can

the good news is yes, the world is your oyster
the bad news is the only way to enjoy an oyster
is to drown it in so much hot sauce or champagne
you can’t even tell its an oyster anymore

the good news is the world is world is your oyster
the bad news is that oysters are a prank
played on the gullible to see if they’ll
eat something disgusting and terrible
just because everyone else is doing it but
the good news is
oysters aren’t nearly as gross as kombucha