Everyone is gone in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

It’s so weird…how I just got left alone.

Even on this fucking site…everyone just stopped reading.

All of my friends are gone.

I seriously have no idea what the fuck happened.

Do you ever have that moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and you just decide that the best course of action is to destroy yourself?
Like, you look yourself in the eyes and you think outloud “I need to kill you”

Do you know what I mean?

,,,

I need to take my profile down from the dating site I’m on…the math teacher made me realize that I have no time for dating anyone…I have no emotions to commit to someone…I can’t engage, I can’t be interested…I have nothing to give, and I have no interest in taking anything.

I think I just need to be destroyed…this entire existence has been a fucking mistake.

Hahaha…the funny thing about having feelings like this is that it’s just funny to everyone else.

..

I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore…it’s like screaming in an empty room.
Does it even make you feel better?

Am I growing or shrinking?

Can I ever get this energy back?

…

I ate some mushrooms a few days ago and I realized that I don’t like who I am on these medications…and I realized that I don’t like who I am off the medications…

…I realized I don’t like who I am.

Why the fuck would anyone else like me?

It makes sense that all of my friends are gone.

I wouldn’t want to hang out with me either…I’m just this fucking crazy bi-polar mother fucker who has to take three drugs a day to survive, and then drinks too much on top of that…it’s fucking pathetic.

…

The only reason I’m not going to kill myself is because I’m positive that if I do I’m just going to have to start this entire life over again…

I just need to make it to the end of this shit.

Maybe after I die I’ll wake up as someone new…as someone better.

I know for sure that I’m going to have to do another tour of earth.
I know for sure that I’ve fucked this entire thing up.

The angels have told me…I’m so fucked…

“I am not your friend
I am just a man who knows how to feel
I am not your friend
I’m not your lover
I’m not your family.”

The worst part is that I’m reading this book right now that’s just reaffirming everything the angels have told me.

I’m so fucked.

…

Are you even listening anymore?
Are you even there anymore?
I don’t feel you right now.
I still fucking love you…and I feel like you’ve left me.
…am I pathetic for still talking to you about all of this?
Am I pathetic for still loving you?
I can’t tell right now.

Sometimes I just wish you could talk back to me.
Give me anything.
ha.

Whatever.

I still love you.
I’ll talk to you later, I’m sure.
…I’ll still be here.
I’ll always be right here.
Right
Fucking
Here.
-Dane