the trash thing. in 2018 feb. 18, 2018 in Aurora Stuff/the lady

‘ this is from earlier today:

‘vague on purpose. um. anyway.

So apparently. When I was at my mom’s the lady went into my closet and took something out. [i won’t put what. but by the title of this entry people should be able to figure it out. i’m actually. somewhat embarassed about it.]. i actually. was planning to take it out myself [and i had been. doing well w/ that. the past 2, 3 wks.].

and she was telling me about it when we were in the car fri. and she said something about ‘for your s*fety’. don’t do me any fukin favors. and don’t ever. do something for me i can do myself. i don’t care why that’s not the point. I was like this before the TBI but now i really am. don’t ever do that again.

so now. [to clarify this a bit more.]. i don’t have a trash can in my rm. er closet. [well my closet’s in my rm.]. i’ll get one next wk. should be one at my mom’s. she [the lady i mean] knows i don’t like it when people do things for me and yet. and bc i don’t have a trash can [though i did before this happened] this means i haven’t eaten as much.........yeah. [see. i go downstairs to microwave pasta. but i don’t eat all of it don’t really care. and i don’t want her saying anything about it if i were to put it in the kitchen trash. so i was bringing up what i didn’t eat to my rm. but now...........]

don’t fukin protect me. i’m not hers to protect. right bc. i’m not hers [as in. we’re not related] i’m just living in her house.

no see. she just doesn’t want to be held f**** liable if i get like. sick or w/e. well why would i tell her. exactly i wouldn’t.

I wouldn’t do that to someone. bc i want people to trust me. [which is funny bc i don’t trust people all that much myself so.]. also i have depression. which means. it’s not so much SU as. i don’t want to be here. but she obviously doesn’t want me to trust her. that’s fine then i won’t go out as much. ok. [if i’m out then she has the opportunity to do things like this.].

she once told me ‘i treat people how i want to be treated’. well ok. ok then given that logic..... i’ll go into her closet and take something out. just to even things out. just say the word. i have no problem doing that. i’ll start doing things for her that she’s perfectly able to do herself. oh ok. that’s fine.’