I'm sick, booooo... in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

We’re in the middle of a vicious heat-wave and I have a cold…and okay okay, I know that a COLD doesn’t come from the cold…I get that, trust me, I’m a doctor, but it’s still ironic because that’s just the way the English language works.

But, seriously, I don’t handle being sick very well…I’ve heard that most men are babies when they’re sick…and I guess that’s the most stereotypical thing about me.

I’m sitting here like, “Okay, I don’t want to be in this human body anymore if this is what it’s going to be like…I did not sign up for this shit.” And then I have these weird time travel flashbacks to all of the times in my life that I’ve been sick before this, and then it just seems like my entire life is just an endless stream of nothing but being sick…like, have I always been this way? I can’t remember feeling any other way than this…is this just what life is?

I started feeling this way two days ago but I’ve just been ignoring it and going out with my friends anyway, because that’s what you do, right?

Saturday night I went with Deanne to one of her friends birthday parties…it was cool, I didn’t know anyone at all, but everyone was super chill. We went to this place in Laguna called The Slice where you get a little personal pizza and you can pour your own beer…which is like…weird, but cool? I don’t know if it’s actually cool or not…it’s definitely gimmicky.

The lady who’s birthday it was had a super douchey boyfriend…he lives in Dana Point and he’s a realtor…oh my god…I couldn’t even handle that guy…he was so far up his own ass it wasn’t even funny…but I guess he was nice enough in a weird not nice at all kind of way.

His buddy showed up with his girlfriend though, and his buddy was the legit shit…I liked that gy so much. He still skates and he liked my TMNT hat…we got along really well. I think it takes a special kind of dude to be in your 30’s and still want to hop on a board all the time.

Shit, I guess I hung out with Deanne on Friday night too…we went and saw the new Purge movie…it was fucking terrible. I mean, I didn’t hate it or anything…mostly because I don’t hate things…but if I could go back in time and not see it I definitely would choose to do that.

…

Last night I got to see Golnar for the first time in what feels like FOR FUCKING EVER! She went up to San Francisco and was hanging out in all of the forest areas around there, just getting crazy and weird and doing festival type things…meeting stranger and eating mushrooms and all of that goodness.

I’m so glad she’s back.

We went to the weed church and then went to this hip little joint on the UCI campus…I just always feel so fucking comfortable when I’m around her, like I can be my self…my real and complete self, and not only does she accept it, but she actually gets it.

She’s some sort of alien too.

We were talking about our favorite past life’s (which time is relative of course, so they could also be future life’s) But we both thought our favorite life was when we were whales together.
I miss that.

I like how humans think they run this shit.
71% of the earth’s surface is water…and then you have these 200 ton mammals swimming around in there, intelligent and compassionate creatures…but yeah, sure, humans totally dominate this shit.

I mean, jesus…if you took all of the ants in the world and put them on a scale they would weigh more than all of the humans in the world on a scale…ants are intelligent, they have societal structures and jobs and cities and war…humans don’t even own the fucking part of the planet that’s not covered in water!

Humans are just fucking ridiculous.
You all need to get over yourselves.

…

Anyway…I can’t eat anything today because my sinuses are all fucked up.
I’m having a hard time typing because my fingernails are too long.

I love having long fingernails…I don’t even give a fuck, I think it’s a lot prettier than having short clipped nails.

But, honestly I need to clip them soon because I would like to be able to play guitar and I can not play guitar very well right now because of them.

Also, that typing thing I just mentioned…that’s a thing.

Oh, and also if I want to take my contacts out or put them in, it’s a lot easier if my nails aren’t super long.

Okay, maybe I don’t love having long fingernails and I’m just lazy…but I do think they look better than having shitty short nails.

…

I don’t even know what I’m talking about at this point, I think I’m just typing to type because I don’t know what else to do with myself and even though I’m totally ready to go to bed, I don’t think I can sleep just yet…

So I’m killing time…you gotta problem with that?

Ha…like I’m some tough guy…today I did something at work that two people said was “gangsta as shit” because I’m actually a G.

I don’t even want to tell you what I did…just that it was gangsta as shit.

Let your imagination wander.

Okay okay okay…I get it…I just need to go and lay down now.
Maybe watch some trailer park boys.

Thanks for talking with me today.
I always appreciate our little chats.
If you wanted to bring me some chicken noodle soup or something, I wouldn’t mind.
Maybe some hot tea?
Or you could just come here with a gun and put me out of my misery?
Whatever is easiest.
I’ll leave it up to your best judgment, I trust you.
I love you.
We’ll talk again soon.
-Dane