San Francisco Convert in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

Richard has been making frequent trips to visit now that he’s out of school and only has to work weekends at the bar in San Francisco. This means that he’s not just seeing me, he’s also seeing his other friends as well as his dad and stepmom. The problem is, I’ve been noticing some rather startling changes in his behavior.

It started when I first got back into contact with him. Little comments here and there that bothered me, and they started piling up. I had been talking to this guy in SF and we were talking about getting together. Apparently, Richard knew who he was because they had also been talking at one point.

It bothered me because Richard said to me, “It’s amazing how he’s still kind of cute even though he’s gotten kind of chunky.”

I did a double-take when I heard that and made him repeat himself. I heard him correctly and that left a sickness in the pit of my stomach. I took it as just a one-off and tried to move on. I couldn’t…

At one point, his parents went out of town and asked me to housesit for them. I’ve known his dad for 10 years, so they felt comfortable asking me to take care of their gigantic garden and four(!) cats. It was a nice respite from the mania of my mother spending the weekend at their house in relative peace and quiet and working on my novel.

The day after they got back, Richard came for another visit. We hung out with our friend Nathan, whom I’ve known just as long, but we were never as close despite the fact that Nate and I share a more similar sense of humor. Nathan plays all kinds of role-playing card games and whatnot, so Richard and I got bored and decided to out to the bar where I used to host karaoke.

It was pretty much the people I recognized, including this guy I had met just a few days earlier who was in his late-20s and had just come out two weeks ago. He was a big, burly straight guy and was friendly to a fault. He came over and talked to me, and Richard got into his head that he was hot and started flirting with him.

At one point, Richard offered to buy the new guy a drink, but he had to use the restroom, we would meet him at the bar. While we were waiting for him, the new guy saw two other people (whom I knew) that he met earlier in the week and went to go say hi. Richard came back, wondering where the new guy was and when he walked by with the group he had said hello to (they were walking him around to the other counter to introduce him to someone else), Richard flew off into a rant. At one point, he even insulted one of the guys with the new guy. I don’t remember what he said, but needless to say, there was some serious tension.

Then Richard launched into this speech about how he’s better than that and he isn’t going to wait for any man, and he doesn’t need to fuck some fat straight guy anyway… and I just felt all of my brains leaking out of my ears. I told him to knock it off, he was embarrassing himself… to which he said, “I don’t live here, I don’t give a shit. I don’t ever have to see these people again!”

I replied, “Well, I do! This is where I live right now and I see these people weekly!!”

Then I asked what the fuck his problem was, and he launched into this tirade about how his ex was a fat white guy who mistreated him and he’d worked so hard to bounce back and become toned and beautiful… at which point I interrupted him and said, “I fucked you when you were fat!”

That didn’t deter him, so I tried a different track.

“I’m glad that you’ve turned your life around and become who you always knew you could be, but that doesn’t mean you get to be disrespectful and belittle people. He’s NEW!! He’s meeting people and he’s excited because he gets to be who he is for the first time in his life! Be kind.”

To which he responded with an emphatic NO.

Dumbfounded, I didn’t argue when he said that he was going to go meet up with Nate… and then he disappeared into the night. Afterward, I walked over to the group to apologize about Richard’s behavior, who asked me if he was from Sacramento, I said, “No, he’s visiting from San Francisco” and they all nodded their heads and exclaimed various versions of “that explains it.”

I drove back to Richard’s house to drop off the keys I’d used while I was housesitting, which were Richard’s. His stepmother inquired where Richard was and I just had to shrug. Then I explained the situation succinctly (“Richard was being an asshole”) and left, wondering if I’d ever return.

The next day, I got a text from Richard that just said, “What happened?”

“I’m not sure I have an answer”

“I acted like an ass towar the end, huh?”

“Yeah, it was confusing”

He came back a week later, and we were supposed to patch things up, but instead we hung out at Nate’s and Richard joined their little role-playing game that was like Game of Thrones meets Monopoly, so we didn’t get a chance to talk. Then, when we got to his parents’, we just ended up watching a movie.

On a shrewd move on my part, I made us watch “I Feel Pretty”. Essentially, a girl who thinks she is unattractive ends up getting a bump on the head which makes her feel beautiful and it completely changes her life… unfortunately, her behavior ends up alienating her from her friends.

I’m not sure the message really got through to him, but time will tell, I guess.

I’ve officially announced to everyone I’m leaving for LA, which means now I have pressure to follow-through on it. Time is ticking and I’m loving the expiration date looming over me.

It’s amazing, Richard lived in LA for three years and never became the egotistical monster we usually associate with Angelenos… but less than a year back in SF, and she’s a mess.