Wake in 2018

So my cousin and I have basically been at her house now since she passed. Her fave season was winter and fave time of year was Xmas so we put her tree up and brought out a few Xmas things. We’ve told everyone to wear Christmas sweaters or colours if they could, to both the funeral and the wake. She would be so happy.

She always brought everyone together. Even last night there was about 25 people hanging out. It’s been amazing. It’s like she’s there silently observing as she did. Just looking over everything with a smile.

I haven’t had a big breakdown yet like everyone else but I’m a weird person. My mind is fairly unhealthy and I tend to bottle up most things and put them on a shelf. I spent so much of my life crippled with anxiety and crying over everything and being looked down upon for it that I think I’ve done a 180 in the other direction which is bad. I feel this. It sucks. It hurts. But I’m holding myself together for now as I know there will be many shittier times to come within the next few days.

Kristen <3