Rough & Ow in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

Last night I didn’t get to sleep until after 3 a.m. So obviously, I’m in some considerable pain this morning. Like… could feel the individual fibers of my shirt as I put it on nerve sensitivity. Then a 42 minute drive to work where I’m late. But boss isn’t in (one of his dogs is sick).

The job is… concerning me. Not in a “I’ll never get this” kind of way and not in a “They’re going to figure out I’m a fraud” kind of way. But in a “There’s so much to do and I don’t know how this system works” kind of way. In Tiny Town, everything was stupid old school. If a charge needed to be filed, it was literally brought to my desk or e-mailed to me. I would draft the charging document and file with EDMS. Everything taken care of in direct, easily tracked, old school fashion. Here? It isn’t like that. Hell, I don’t even write the Trial Informations! What?! So… wait… what am I responsible for? That would be good to know. And clearly… there’s a lot to do. I’ve been here less than 5 days, and they already want me to prosecute Felony Cases. I was in Tiny Town for a whole year and never prosecuted a Felony. So… as expected… there is a lot of opportunity here to learn and gain experience and figure out how to do this whole prosecution thing. BUT I am going to make some EPIC mistakes along the way.

Which in most cases wouldn’t bother me… but they’ve thrown me right in the deep end on this. First ten cases?
1) 17 year old in the State Training School nearly beat a guard to death in an attempt to escape
2) Adult woman led police on high speed chase, refused to leave vehicle after crash, and shot 4 vials of liquid meth before surrendering to officers
3) Long standing domestic disturbance couple where Female Victim recants after 5 days every time
4) Home where over 20 grams of methamphetamine were found in the living room where the minor children were playing as Mommy and Daddy were getting high in the bedroom
5) Home where a 6 year old child was imprisoned under the basement stairs with no food, no water, no bed, no window. Yes, there are photos.
6) Stabbing where Defendant flipped off a car, Victim chased the Defendant down to ask why, Defendant stabs Victim
7) Old man beats a 3 week old kitten to death with a shovel claiming he was protecting his granddaughter… kitten’s owners were less than 20 feet away. Yes, there are photos.
8) OWI defendant is asked typical “weapons or contraband” question when getting booked; claims there’s nothing; found to be attempting to smuggle cocaine into his cell.
9) Stalking case where, after serving time already, the Defendant is released and immediately calls the victim 64 times in succession
10) Possession with intent to distribute: methamphetamine, cocaine, hydrocodone, marijuana. Also found at the scene were paraphernalia and money. Previous attorney removed Child Endangerment charge.

So… some important cases. And those are just the first ones they threw at me. Don’t even get me started on the ones that are just starting. So… I have a lot of work… to try to figure out how to do. This is the thing I most despise about The Law. For some reason, it is always expected that every New Lawyer knows exactly what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. Because every lawyer had “trial by fire.” Except… most of the computer programs being used by Iowa lawyers today weren’t invented until after 2011. So… if you had (for example) 13 years of Law Practice under your belt before the Computer Programs… you already knew The Law and needed to figure out The Computers. For me? Yeah… I might pick up The Computer piece a bit faster; but that isn’t the proper way of doing it. Getting the computer part down before getting the foundation is like… learning to fly an airplane before learning how to ride a bike. Even if you do it that way, learning to fly the airplane doesn’t translate to knowing how to ride a bike. Either way, I have my work cut out for me and… once again… I’m mostly just fumbling in the darkness here. FINGERS SUPER CROSSED THAT I GET IT TOGETHER SOONER THAN LATER!! The good news on that front is that the boss seems like a decent sort and he’s new enough in the role himself that he’s fairly understanding. Plus… I do have a bit more of the law and the “prosecutor’s perspective” than a great number of people who would have interviewed for this job.


Random statement: I dislike the song “The Sky is a Neighborhood.” I appreciate where the song came from… the idea that Earth is just one “spot” in the cosmic “neighborhood” of life… that’s all well and good. But I find the song itself to be annoying and I find the “metaphor” to be forced. I get that, since the song has done VERY well for itself, this is an unpopular opinion. But that is the nice thing about discussions about ART and how discussions about ART differ from discussions about FACT. We can both feel a certain way about Art and neither of us is wrong. I adore David Bowie and Freddie Mercury’s music. If you think they sucked… I disagree… but neither of us are technically wrong. We’ve developed differing opinions about art. On the OTHER HAND, if I was to say that both David Bowie and Freddie Mercury were born in London, England… that you can/should disagree with and you’d be RIGHT. Mr. Mercury was born in Stone Town, Tanzania in 1946. This shouldn’t need to be covered ad nauseum but apparently, we still live in a world where people believe “opinion and fact are equal” which… no. No they are not.

Oh, technology. Computers… they do what we tell them and nothing more. Thus the great problem with computers. A human thinks “Computer, I am filing a case for this individual” but the computer doesn’t. The computer thinks, “This number was filed to correspond with a subsequent number that does not exist; therefore, I cannot file in the non-existing subsequent number and will file in the next available number slot.” Which… helps us not at all. Because… apparently… all of my filings aren’t recognizing me as a real entity… and default to a different entity. Super.

As we go through technical problems and other weird fuck ups… I push forward on my own. My boss says, “If you have any questions ask” and I let him know that I’m exploring the various technology things to try to develop questions but… I’ll be damned if computers don’t make Law more difficult in some ways. I’m certain certain that as soon as I get it all figured out, I’ll cry with joy. I mean… this computer program means I’ll never again have to create a Standard Form out of Whole Cloth. A form we use 20 times a day? Yeah, I can just input the case number and the program creates it. IF I get it all figured out, lol.

More animal abuse cases on my desk. More people abusing dogs and cats. No wonder the County Attorney called this place a prime example of Hillbilly Criminality. “What do you mean I can’t let my dogs roam around?” Well… if you do that, Animal Control will bring them in. “Show me in the law where it says I can’t!” Iowa Code Chapter 717B.3: Animal Neglect. “It says I have to have the animal impounded or confined for it to be neglect. I let it roam free, it ain’t impounded or confined.” Fuck. It is true. And the judges have consistently sided with that interpretation in this county. Fuck. So… we’re okay with Trailer Park Thompson buying three dogs, letting them “roam,” one of them getting bit by a rabid raccoon, one getting hit by a car, and the other starving to death… and we won’t call that neglect?! FFS, really? And to review and research this? I got to read the Court Arguments for State of Iowa v. Terry Lee Wilson… a case where a sick fuck took a samurai sword and chopped up his puppy for 10 minutes until it finally died. And they said that “impound or confine” had to be a key and primary element of the animal neglect; therefore, if the dog was not “captured, kept, or contained” it was not “impounded or confined” sufficiently for statutory compliance. In other words… yes. If your dog roams free, that isn’t neglect. Neglect stems from keeping your dog caged and neglecting their needs. One might argue “What about 717B.8 and abandonment?” I wish that would work, I really do. But ‘intentionally roam free’ and ‘abandon’ are two legally distinct definitions. If my intent is to separate myself from the dogs, that is abandonment… if my intent is to let them wander and come home, that is not.
https://whotv.com/2015/12/16/report-iowa-has-second-worse-animal-protection-laws-nationwide/

This is the part of Prosecution that I didn’t miss. It is a part I know I can handle… but it is the part that also sets my “need love and support” alarms to an 11. I can handle being mired in shit. I honestly can. Seeing the worst things humans can do to each other, their surroundings, the world? I can take it. Largely because there is nothing a human can do that would surprise me. It is why I always tell people, “It is better to tell me what happened because what I can imagine is guaranteed to be worse.” So while there are people I would never want in a Prosecutor position for this reason, I’m not one of them. I can take it.

BUT it makes that home life piece so much more important. Yes… I can stomach seeing some of the worst things imaginable. But you never walk away unscathed. If you’re neck deep in ugly, you have that much more desire to be surrounded by beauty. If you’re awash in the aftermath of hate professionally, you need that much more love personally. When you see a vulnerable child or animal treated coldly, it makes warmth so much more meaningful.

Admitting that… brings a new concern to mind. It means I’m going to be less likely to separate myself from Wife due to my need… while simultaneously, I’m going to be less happy about Wife due to her ability.