Irritation in Thirty-Three

Today has been the day of irritation. That word is so gross lol. But anyway, it’s been a few days actually.

So My irritation began actually on the 4th. I swear, I enjoy Jacquie and Garrett’s company, but the way Jacquie and Randy act when they are together, I might as well not exist. It is annoying and really just like a slap in the face. It’s not something I will bring up because the last time I did, I got in trouble and made to feel like I was an idiot. So I’ll just let it go.

BUT, and this is mostly her, they act like the couple that everyone thinks they are. Like everything is THEIR thing. I feel like Garrett feels my pain but won’t say anything either because he’s just that way. I’ve already brought it up once, so I won’t bother.

Anyway. Today I had to take my dad to get his eyes checked. Randy text me saying he was on a forced break…from 1 - 4. So I was super confused but he said HR stepped in and told him they don’t want him working more than 6 hours straight (he was scheduled from 11-11). He went to a follow up appointment for his knee and they said he could do the closing, but that HR said he couldn’t. So I don’t really know what the heck is going on there.

Anyway, so he was sitting at the store waiting those 3 hours between his shift. I guess he was talking to his brother (who is the Marketing Manager for this area) and Randy told Adam that the fact that HR is cutting his hours is screwing with his mental health. I can understand that. He needs the hours, he feels like he can do the job, but yet they are still limiting him.

This is word for word from Randy after he text me that he left the store....

“I told him that cutting my hours is really screwing with my mental health, and he said something like taking ownership is part of my mental health…so i just walked away and said I don’t want to talk about it before I get really pissed”.

First of all that’s not something a manager tells an employee who has a known mental health issue. Second of all, that’s not something you tell your brother.

So I was just like what does he know about ownership, he can’t take “ownership” of his addictions. We had to talk to him several times about his buying a 12 pack a night and going in and out at least every 20 minutes to smoke a bowl. He moved out like 2 weeks ago so that’s no longer our problem. But, every time we brought something like that up, about how he spent every waking hour that he wasn’t at work on his computer and NOT paying any attention to his puppy, he would get super defensive and make excuses and just close down like a fucking turtle. So he doesn’t know a goddamn thing about “owning” anything.

I told Randy that he doesn’t get it, that he doesn’t WANT to get it. He just thinks all this is a farce and that Randy is making all this shit up. UGH i’m so fucking pissed. I told him he needs to seriously reconsider what is best for his mental health. He sees his therapist for the 1st time next Wednesday. FINALLY. But that he also needs to consider finding a different job. They have been amazing with him, but if he’s going to have a manager (who happens to be his brother) that says things like this to him and completely invalidates him then what is the point of working there. And if he does leave, I hope he tells them that that is part of the reason he is leaving.

But it’s just a hard situation all around. He lost his wallet a couple of days ago, and apparently had $120 in tip money in there. We just keep getting kicked while we are down, I kid you not. We have one more double payment to make in order to be able to keep the car, and then this happens and we are back in the what the fuck do we do now category. I know losing a wallet is ones own fault but he’s not even sure if he lost it or if he set it down and someone else picked it up. But, if that happened, there’s no cameras pointed at the area where he may have set it down so there’s no way to determine if that’s the case.

PLUS His mother has been ON something for the last few weeks. She and my dad almost got into an argument about their health. She flat out told him “your diet isn’t a diabetic diet”. Like ok lady, you aren’t in the best of health yourself. First of all, my dad is following everything his Dr is saying and just because you USED TO own a health food store doesn’t make you the expert on this shit.

When my dad started proving her wrong, she immediately was like “i don’t want to talk about this anymore” but my dad persisted and she got all mad. Here’s the thing though, she comes over for dinner and has NO problem eating a full plate of food and dessert. So why the fuck is she talking shit to my dad about his diet. Its just irritating. I’m going to tell Randy that we won’t be making dinner for her anymore. And if we do, we will serve her the smallest possible portion and not offer her dessert because remember she’s watching her diet.

OMG its just so irritating when hypocrites invade your life. I know i have my days and times where I can be that way, but to be that way ALL the time, it’s exhausting. And Randy ends up getting frustrated and/or hurt by it all.

I told him we need to just take the time for ourselves and say fuck you to those who don’t want to be helpful to us because at the end of the day it’s not fair to either of us to have to deal with that nonsense.

Last thing is that these last few days, literally since about wednesday, i have had some intense pain and burning in my arms and hands from my elbows. It feels like i have a horrible sunburn starting at my elbows up to my knuckle. Then my hands go completely numb. The pain wakes me up at night and then it’s impossible to go back to sleep. It just started a few days ago.

So I called my rheumy’s office and said “I need to move my appointment up if possible because i’ve started getting intense pain and…” and the receptionist lady cut me off. She said “he doesn’t do anything for pain. there has to be some other issue like swelling”. To which I replied “well if you would have let me finish, I was saying I am having intense pain, burning and numbness in my hands”. She just kept saying it had to be swollen or something. I told her that he was going to test me for lupus at my next appointment in August. She changed her whole attitude after that. I was so freaking irritated. They hear the word pain and think you are automatically looking for pain meds. No sorry, that shit doesn’t work. PLUS, I want to know why the fuck i’m in so much pain to begin with. It’s really hard to do every day tasks like typing, using my phone, driving, etc. Its interrupting my sleep and preventing me from going to sleep in the first place.

So yeah that’s exactly what has been going on and I’m just all over the fucking place. I apologize if I haven’t really been around much or noted much but I hope you all understand. Thanks!