keyword "power" title "the legend of minnie driver" in misc. flash fiction

Minnie Driver was six feet tall and on the set of “Good Will Hunting” Matt Damon had to stand atop three apple boxes just outside the camera’s frame, so he might appear taller than the female lead. Minnie Driver was eight feet tall and when she filmed the pilot for ABC’s “Speechless”, a quarter of the budget was devoted to digitally shrinking her so as to not dwarf the cast, using the same cutting-edge technology used to make the Hobbits actor in “The Lord of The Rings” look as short as the characters in the books. Minnie Driver was ten feet tall and on the set of “Gross Pointe Blank” was known to occasionally carry co-star John Cusack around in a backpack when he was too tired to walk after the rigors of a filming day. The crew were quick to nickname it her “Cusack Sack” a term that delighted Driver but Mister Cusack less so.

Minnie Driver was twelve feet tall and when recording her voice-over work as Jane in the Disney animated film “Tarzan” helped esteemed character actor Brian Blessed perfect his own unique interpretation of the iconic Tarzan yell by throwing Mister Blessed over a two-story building as he screamed, immersing the method actor in the feeling of swinging from tree to tree on a vine. Minnie Driver was fourteen feet tall and in her teenage years was often seen bounding about the English countryside with her favorite pet, a giant blue ox she named “Thatcher”, to the surprise and amazement of many a Hampshire dairy farmer in her day. Minnie Driver was sixteen feet tall and was christened “Amelia Fiona Driver”, Minnie being merely an ironic nickname based on her being roughly three meters taller than any of the other young women at the prestigious Bedales boarding school. There was no one in her family named Wilhelmina at all!

Minnie Driver was eighteen feet tall, her pantyhose constructed by the finest lingerie-smiths stitching together silk parachutes. Minnie Driver was twenty feet tall, she could catch low-orbit satellites in her bare hands without even damaging her manicure. Minnie Driver was twenty-two feet tall, once her nutritionist prescribed her vitamins too high in iron and her body corrected this imbalance when she pooped the Transcontinental Railroad. Minnie Driver was twenty-four feet tall and when an assistant would bring her the wrong flavor latte, she had the power to step on her and squash her like a bug. Who could stop her? She was twenty-four feet tall!

Minnie Driver was twenty-six feet tall and while she would have been gorgeous and possessed her charming British accent even had she been five feet tall, she wasn’t, she was twenty-six feet tall and therefore five-point-two times more beautiful and enchanting than she ever could have been at a mere five. When she and Matt Damon broke up, she cried for three days straight and where she wept, we now call that spot “Lake Ontario”. That’s how awesome Minnie Driver is.