Dead-end in Dead-end

*Brainstorming for a horror revenge movie screenplay based on my life**

shrugs No matter what I do, I end up sliding back down to the same shitty pit again and again. I’m not strong enough to deal with facebook anymore. I log in to deal with my wood burning and the first thing I see is a video of some dude with a blow torch burning a dogs face off. This is the sort of shit that vegans deal with on a daily basis. The cruelty and inhumanity of my fellow humankind is too much. The fucking apathy to it hurts even more. I can’t fucking stand it. My ideal idea at the moment would be to kill the man who abused me and then take my own life. I would take my time and make his life a living hell for as long as I wanted and then watch the light finally fade from his eyes as I bled him out.

How would you capture him? And that’s a great question. I know he owns guns, so a home invasion wouldn’t be smart. Waiting until he left his home and nabbing him between the house and his truck would be best. A taser to get him to the ground and then duct tape to bind him. I’d love to deliver some blunt force trauma upside his head, like with a hammer, but I’m not going to rob myself of the joy of torturing him by accidentally killing him right off the bat! Make sure I take his phone too, it’d be no good if he was able to call for help. The only call that will need to be made is for his fucking dental records. I considered the idea of gloves, a mask, or other tools to mask my identity and DNA, but this would be the second to last thing I did, so who gives a flying fuck? I’ll make sure he knows it’s me. Cutting off his eyelids might be the first thing I do once I have him in a secure location. That way he has to watch as I approach him with the glowing tip of a burning cigarette, the hot embers glowing madly as his frantic breath stokes the heat.

Cutting him with an xacto knife, a thousand times, up and down his body, pouring lemon juice and salt into the open wounds, watching the veins in his forehead and neck pop as he screams in fucking agony. Again and again and again, another cut, another cut. Using a cigar trimmer and hedge trimmers to cut off the tips of his fingers and toes, using an iron to cauterize the gaping wounds…phew This is really doing it for me! And he’d be strapped to a chair without a bottom, forced to balance on the splintery frame, every time he struggles, the splinters being driven deeper into his flesh. He’d piss and shit all over himself, nothing he hasn’t done already in a drunken stupor, but this time, he’d be forced to eat that shit. He’d refuse at first of course, but once I smash his fucking teeth in with a hammer, he won’t have a fucking choice will he? His own filth eventually working it’s way into his open wounds as I press another red hot poker to his flesh, searing another angry and righteous scar into his too-soon-dead flesh. Oh and the sodomy, OH AND THE SODOMY. First, a broken wooden spoon, like the ones he broke on me. I’ll take a long needle and pierce his ear drums, then drive needles and pins underneath his finger and toenails before ripping them off with a pair of pliers.

I’ll need ammonia, to keep him conscious, at least until I’m done with him. I think all this ends with me, a few gallons of gasoline, and taking in the spectacle of him being burned alive, helpless, alone, terrified, and in excruciating agony. I deserve no less than full and absolute vengeance. It won’t give me anything he’s taken from me back, but it will provide me with the one thing I haven’t found yet…

An outlet for this unending rage. I can finally succumb to the horrifying bottomless well of rage and despair and become a conduit for it all to pass through me, once and for all.

I’m a sweet, kind, loving, compassionate, and gentle person. Underneath that all is the chilling and seismic will of a person who has been pushed too far too many times. The morbid and morose imagination of a man who has had everything stolen away from him. Too many times the guilty get to sleep peacefully and their evil is allowed to roam freely. This. should. not. be.

This story will end the way it should. Divine retribution, the application of righteous justice, and evil being snuffed out. This screenplay is going to be haunting.