On The Way To Work Thoughts in meh...

So PB friend didn’t off herself. I pray ahe doesn’t, but what to do if she attempts?

I was cutting up some broccoli yesterday. Then I took the knife and air cut my wrist. Same thing when I’m walking over a bridge over the highway. “What if I hurl myself over the side…” The thought of my children long ago and the thought of my grandchildren now keep me from doing such things. “But Gadda…What would I do without you?” That was something Bubby Jr. asked me this weekend. I told him he would never find out because I will always be with him.

He’s going to spend time out of town with his father. I don’t like it, but it’s not my call. I love that little boy so much.

There was a guy who I had a crush on that lived in the old neighborhood. I called him Big Booty D. He was around my age I thought a bit younger, but found out yesterday he was 43.
He drowned on Saturday. He jumped into a pool and didn’t resurface. Stories say he may have hit his head at some point. News story says the latter. He has a 1 or 2 year old child, plus other older children. It’s heartbreaking. Just passing by the 7-11 where I would run into him from time to time.

I have limited my time on Facebook. I apparently know a lot of atheists, homophobes, and petty individuals. I can’t do it.

I have been participating in a 30 day music challenge for black music month. I’ve also been following a person in Twitter who does this thing called Music Sermon. It is enlightening and refreshing to get history while enjoying music that I lived and loved back in the day and now.

I still feel like I have tears inside that I need to let out.

After my entry yesterday about Him, I just felt sad. To me, he was my second love. I can’t help that I see this as a waste of my time. 10 years of my life I wasted loving him. An additional three if I really want to be honest. I want to move on, but I don’t like my prospects and I don’t trust anyone’s intentions anymore. This is why I am sad, cynical and broken. I know this about me.

At any rate…

I’m guessing the real heal and purge over all feelings begins today.

My birthday is next week and I’m off on that Thursday. Don’t want to be mopey then.

I do, however want to be drunk.
I also want to go see the new Jurrassic World movie with my family.
Anything else, I don’t know.

Well, that’s all I have right now.

Take care.
Love each other genuinely.

Kindest regards,
Sister

Last updated June 12, 2018