help someone else instead of yourself books in poetry

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People:

eating
drinking
sleeping
breathing in
breathing out
the elimination of wastes
cell division

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE:

Part 1: You influence people by pretending you’re rich and never admitting when you’re wrong.
Part 2: You make friends by not trying to influence people instead just trying to be a good person.
Part 3: Be a good person instead of worrying about making friends or influencing people.

The Secret:

the secret is
write a book convincing people
you know some kind of secret to
life that does not actually exist
and then
start buying your yachts

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE:

I moved your cheese,
you smug son of a bitch
to mess with you because
you’re preying on people
by selling self-help books

and by the time you get around to
WHY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
and
ULTIMATE POWER
and
THE SUCCESS PRINCIPLES
they all just sound like
the beginnings of speeches
by super-villains in some
comic book
Doctor Doom, maybe
Lex Luthor, something like that

in other words
self-help books, please
go fuck yourself