Tuesday like a Monday in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

So… no sleep for me again last night. In the last two weeks… that would be my 3rd night of zero sleep. Neck/Back/Left Leg issues. Plus my body is weird. Hate the heat because I sweat like some kind of monster from legend whose monster ability is excessive sweat. But my stiff and aching body parts despise cold. So… my preferred and ideal temperature situation is some weird amalgamation where my lower half is a warm 80 degrees and my upper half is a cool 64 degrees. lol.

My first act for the day was to work on a billing spread sheet for the Chinese Firm. Yeah… riddle me this:
They owe me my final bonus check.
My bonus is taken from my “hours earned” calculations.
The way that is/was handled is that I submit my hours to the bosses, they hand those hours to the Accounting Chinese lady, that gets sorted.
THIS time… apparently that isn’t going to work.
THIS time… they sent me the spreadsheet that the Accounting Chinese Lady built. I checked it and told them which parts may need to be adjusted. They received that, then asked me to write out all of it again. Not like… my assessment e-mail. They wanted me to recreate my billing. The one they have. The one that is already in the e-mail she was responding to. At this point, I’m thinking “I know the stereotype is that the Chinese are cheap but damn… pay me!” SO now (using the spreadsheet that they sent me that is entirely accessible by all computers at the Firm) I’m just copying information to write down and send back to them. Have I mentioned lately how I’m fairly certain that I will never regret leaving them?

I have to admit… dealing with that bullshit again made me miss Raven. She was in or claimed to be involved with a Law Firm and comparing firms was really important to me as a motivator to Get Out. I mean… yeah. Comparing firms with MBFITWW helped as well… but his client base was a few thousand people total. Raven’s client base potentially covered a few million. Considering Chinese Firm was agreeing to work from 9 states, 2 countries, and trying to get me to deal with all of Iowa? A sleepy firm saying our shit was insane is expected. A thriving metropolitan firm saying our shit was insane? Much more of an impact! Just one in the many ways that Raven was helpful. And on that topic… I think that kind of thing is also why I’m “clinging” to this marriage. Let’s take the most cynical and pessimistic view we can and say that the whole deal was an elaborate ruse. Clearly, I don’t have defenses against that. I think that is a larger thing. A lot of people suggest that I seem like I don’t believe I deserve better. But (as far as I can tell) it has very little to do with what I believe I deserve or not. It is almost exclusively about “what I can get.” In short, “It isn’t about if I deserve better. It is about what is available, what is possible!” Another Aku? Another like Wife? Something worse? Ultimately, I think that is really the underlying thing. Better the Devil you know, then the Hell you don’t.

After that… sent out a few more Hail Mary applications. I wouldn’t exactly be thrilled with the jobs but doing something with my life is much better than not.

Just got another e-mail from Former Chinese Boss pretty much saying “No. Done wrong. We pay you much less.” To this point? I’m just like… “I don’t care how much you pay me. Pay me so that I can sever this relationship.”

At the tone, it will be 9:30 a.m. meaning I have been awake for 22 hours. I am going to make an egg sandwich and do laundry.

When I hit the 24 hours of being awake mark, I saw a small opportunity and I took advantage of it. Wound up getting a 90 minute nap in. Waking up from that nap was.... interesting? Instantly I could tell that I had been clenching my jaw in my sleep “weathering” the pain. My entire body needs a good rub down. And that last sentence can and should be read with as many interpretations as you can think of, lol.

That sends my mind wandering. Imagine if I had a wife who cared about my physical pain or my hornyness. Though… thinking about it like that, I would genuinely feel pity for the poor young woman. The two most prominent and persistent physical sensations I have are (1) OW! and (2) Sex!

With that in mind and my mind not willing to function much right now… PICTURES!

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Chive
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Cos Playing friend of mine that worked really hard and recently lost over 50 pounds!
Cos Playing friend of mine that worked really hard and recently lost over 50 pounds!