Weekend in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

Yesterday was Dragon Lance. It was pretty good. Wife did a lot of laughing… which is always good. I love when she laughs. Like… seriously… when we first started dating… she was into martial arts, danced, laughed easily, and had conversations. Now? Mostly she complains that her body hurts, complains that she doesn’t like her life, zones out to her phone for hours at a time, and monologues. So… getting her to laugh like yesterday? Worth while.

In fact, I started thinking “I should spend time to figure out a good, clear way of figuring out what our big issues are. So I can best clearly communicate them to try to make sure things get better.”

This morning we went to Deadpool 2. Good movie. There were a few places where I wished they would have made different choices but… I’m always going to be like that with Comic Book Movies. Especially if it is Marvel because Marvel’s licensing has gone crazy. Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, ALL Mutants… those properties are tied up in interesting and sometimes convoluted licensing agreements.

But when we got home… Wife started to panic about me getting Jones. Went straight to re-organizing the DVDs and complaining. And it’s like… y’know what? Constant talking, constant self-focus, constant complaining… these are things that are going to be bad for the long-term.

SURVEY TIME
Do you wear socks to bed?
Hell no. No clothes to bed if I can help it. None of any kind!

If you’re drinking water and you stare down into the glass and you see a little piece of something floating around, do you keep drinking?
Almost never but it really depends. Yesterday, I saw something large and foreign in the water and I was instantly like “nope, done with this water right now!”

In grade school, where did you sit on the bus?
In the front of the bus. Talking to the bus driver.

If you wear glasses/contacts, how bad is your prescription?
I’m pretty bad. Bad vision without glasses.

What’s the best way to make you mad?
Drive like a selfish jackass or actively make selfish choices where the benefit to you pales in comparison to the harm done to others.

Do you have any birth marks? If so, where are they and what do they look like?
I don’t have any birth marks… that I know about.

If you had to only wear one colour for the rest of your life, like a Teletubby, what would it be?
Black. Black works in almost every situation.

Are your ears connected or dangly?
Connected

Who is your best friend (not your partner) and why?
MBFITWW is a young lawyer with a massive Anime Collection
Buffy is a friend with whom I have the highest number of happy memories

Do you remember the smelly Gak?
I do, actually. It was one of the few “trendy things” that my parents actually bought for me as a gift once.

Is there a scene in a movie that you completely relate to?
There are many. FUN GAME: Name a movie… if I’ve seen it, I’ll tell you what scene I can relate to (or at least what my favorite quote is, lol)

Which family member is your favorite and why?
My mom. Wasn’t always the case but I would certainly say my mom. She’s giving to a fault.

Do you like eating peanut butter out of the jar?
I used to but not anymore!

Is there a memory from grade school that still embarrasses you? What happened?
Actually… most of my regrets and embarrassment started after Elementary.

How often do you get your hair cut?
Typically twice a year.

Do you hate your job? Why or why not?
I don’t currently have a job. But I did hate my last one. It was toxic and terrible… and the bestest and most awesomest thing is that… leaving was 1000000% the right thing to do. I’ve rarely felt so confident, so assured, so free of regret as I do about leaving that firm!

What’s your drug of choice?
Sugar, Caffeine, Alcohol, Duloxetine, and Travoprost

What’s the best thing you cook/bake?
I do a great job with Burgers, loose meat anything, Sea Farer’s Rafts, and chicken.

How often do you clean your bathroom?
I clean the toilets at least once a month.

How do you show love?
I believe in words of affirmation, affectionate touching, gifts, and service

Where is your favorite spot in the whole world?
I’ve never been to what I expect to be my favorite spot in the world. However, I’d have to say that the two possible answers that I have been to? Either San Diego, California or Graz, Austria

If you could change one characteristic about yourself, what would it be?
I wish I was better about knowing what I want, going after it, not settling, and I wish I was better about not getting sucked in by people who just want to use me (for various purposes).

If you could pick one of your own personality traits and apply it to your partner (if you’re single, think of something you’d want in a mate ideally), what would it be?
HA! Easy to think of a few but I’d say (1) Compassion; or (2) Affectionate Nature

What’s your biggest turn off?
Being treated like I’m disgusting or of lesser worth

If you’re in a crowded parking garage on the 4th of July after the fireworks have gone off, do you let other cars go in front of you in line to exit the garage or do you honk angrily at anyone who tries to cut you off?
There’s a rule we have in Polite Iowa: Every Other. Now, as not everyone knows this… I’ll put up with a few several cars not following the rule… but hand to God, 10 cars ignore the polite structure and I will get a little pushy.

How are your igloo building skills?
My Uncle and Brother are bad ass at making Igloos. And Snowmen. But of course they would be. In our family, there is an unfortunate pattern. Many generations ago, there were two successful brothers… The elder brother was a world-traveling wealthy cultural attache to Bermuda (where his family was from). The younger brother started a business and quickly rose to moderate wealth. However, the younger brother never felt himself to be successful as he never rose to the heights of his elder brother. The younger brother had two children: both boys. The elder son went into his father’s business and had moderate success. The younger son followed the type of business of the family, but struck out on his own. He became a world-traveling wealthy COO of a fortune 500 company with an annual salary over $7 million and was featured in a Forbe’s Most Powerful Mustaches article. The elder son had two children, both boys. The elder son was firm that neither child would join the family business. The older boy was gifted with artistic talents that would make Catherine de’ Vigri jealous. The younger boy was gifted with a passion for acting. In short: Our family has a long tradition of “every other son, generationally, is a fucking gifted favored child of God.”

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
I adore this question because BATMAN. To answer… I’ve done so twice. The first time was an emotional mess and I genuinely considered suicide. The second was more of a casual thing and it wasn’t as catastrophic.

Who would you like to slap in the face with a fish? Why?
My wife (she wouldn’t get the Python reference at first, but after I explained it she’d laugh)
Raven (I’ll likely write about this in here at some point)

Which is your favorite Muppet and why?
Interesting Debate… how do you define Muppet? Is “Muppet” any creation by Jim Henson Studios or is it explicitly one of the characters on The Muppet Show? This is an important debate for many reasons. If we allow any creation by Jim Henson Studios, that would include Fraggles, Doozers, TMNT, Mirror Mask (maybe), Dark Crystal, Sesame Street, etcetera. If we’re doing just Muppets…Sweetums. He’s complicated… I like it.

What body part causes you the most pain?
My legs. And my back. And my soul. If all three of those things could just go super human… that’d be nice.

Do you return your shopping cart in the grocery store parking lot? Why or why not?
Uhm… shit yeah. Take care of yo shit, eh?

Does the sound of running water make you need to pee?
Not usually. Of course, if I have to pee anyway.... then it will certainly make me want to more.

Do you make small talk on planes? Are you open to it if your neighbor does?
I will never initiate because it is me. I will sit in silence for hours rather than inconvenience someone. But if my neighbor starts talking, I’ll gladly keep that shit going. Hell, on my flight from Austria many many years ago… the young child next to me asked me to read him stories… every story he produced, I read. His mother was very appreciative.

Do fences make good neighbors?
In my experience… very much so. They allow the more gregarious neighbors unfettered access while permitting the shyer neighbors the privacy and social block they seek.

What’s your least favorite holiday and why?
I despise Valentine’s Day. It is my parents’ anniversary and is so filled with love and celebration that I always felt bad. Imagine being a child brainwashed to think that Sex was required to be reserved for marriage, being told that romance was only for people who were truly in love… and then seeing and being required to help with some of THE MOST romantic Valentine’s Day surprises.

What’s the weirdest thing to ever happen to you?
Weirdest? Gosh… hard call. I’m guessing that the weirdest thing to ever happen to me would be the following TRUE STORY.
My senior year of high school, a girl told me that she was pregnant with my child. We’d never had sex, but she was crazy enough to have gotten knocked up by some random person so that she could tell people for (however long) that it was my kid. I agreed to meet her to try to settle things since I knew it wasn’t my kid. When I arrived, she threw me on to a concrete bench, bashed my head into said bench (causing a mild concussion), while trying to forcefully strip my pants off… meanwhile screaming at the top of her lungs “I want that baby!”

Have you ever been buried in sand at the beach?
Actually, no. But I do love digging giant holes while at the beach.

What’s your favorite smell?
The smell of a fresh cello.... or Wife’s hair just out of the shower.

Do you think you are empathetic? Why or why not?
I wish I weren’t but I super duper am.

What’s the strangest observation someone has ever made about you?
That I can remember song lyrics, negative memories, and movie quotes as if they were deeply significant personal memories.

What’s the first thing you do every morning?
Crack a body part

The last thing you do at night?
Beat the shit out of my pillow until it is something I can rest my head on comfortably.

Why do you stick around this website?
I don’t read as much as I should. I don’t respond to notes the way I want to. But if I didn’t write as often as I do? I would be a much more depressed and dysfunctional man.