We All Have a Hunger in Magical Realism

What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
I wouldn’t put on a movie with the intent to make myself cry, but I do a lot of crying on airplanes, usually while watching movies. I think it’s the combination of alcohol and boredom and exhaustion, plus the weird feeling of feeling alone in a metal tube filled with human beings, seated side by side but all facing forward glued to our little screens. Or maybe I just spend too much time on airplanes.

If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
Probably some lipo on the waist/abs - I always thought I’d get a breast reduction around 30 but now I’m almost 40 and I’m still not motivated so who knows. I feel like it’s such a terrible surgery, so violent. It seems unfair that implants are such an easy surgery but a reduction or reconstruction is so invasive and scary.

Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Not really. I do a lot of things that people might consider dangerous but think I am pretty realistic as to how much of a risk I am taking. I feel in general my level of fear is in line with the amount of risk.

What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
Blushing.

Are you a pyromaniac?
No.

Do you have too many love interests?
No. I hate pretty much everyone except A. And youse guys.

Do you know anyone famous?
No.

Who would play you in a movie?
I don’t have any celebrity doppelgangers so I put some photos into a thing that tells you what celeb you look like and got the most consistently Sophie Nelisse. Who was born in…the year 2000.

Do you know how to play poker?
Yes, I can play breaking even for hours on end on a video poker machine but would probably piss off everyone at the table if I ever played in real life.

What do you carry with you at all times?
Phone (in case with credit cards/metrocard), housekeys, red lipstick, powder compact.

What do you miss most about being a kid?
Swimming in outdoor pool.

Are you happy with your given name?
Yeah, it suits me.

How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for good?
I would need enough to not have to work and hire people to do things I would usually need to do on the internet. I feel I could do it for 7 million after taxes, which is about a million over my “eff you number”

What color is your bedroom?
White and grey

What was the last song you were listening to? “South London Forever” from the New Florence + the Machine album. Went to see her in concert for the first time since Halloween 2010. I adore her. It was at BAM and during 2 songs she was just running through the seats, walking on the arm-rests like a woman possessed. Going right into people, touching them even. It was so brave. It reminded me of that legendary Marina Abramovic performance art piece, where she just gave herself up to the audience. The whole new album really speaks to me. Her search to find a way back down to earth after years of non-stop activity, movement, living larger than life is interesting to me. I won’t say I’m inspired, but I’m curious.

Have you ever been in love?
Yep, and still am.

Do you talk a lot?
Sometimes, mostly if I am tipsy or nervous.

Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
I believe in myself, very much. I like many things about myself but not everything.

Do you consider yourself a nice person?
Not really. I think “nice” is overrated compared to other qualities one might possess. I have learned it’s expected though, especially as a female. Sometimes feel like I am trying to do an imitation of a nice, socially acceptable human woman and failing miserably.

What is your ideal marriage location?
Antarctica

Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
I have no interest in this, but if I have to choose, piano and/or harp.

Favorite fabric?
Black crepe de chine.

Something you love and hate?
Being lazy

What kind of bedding do you use?
Grey Calvin Klein. I keep buying the same kind for almost 20 years now.

What smell do you find sexy?
Chlorine, haha

What’s the one language you want to learn?
Mandarin Chinese

How do you eat an apple?
Sliced into wedges with cinnamon, or just as hand fruit.

What do you order at a bar?
Vodka martini, very dry, with a twist

Have you ever pierced your body parts?
No. I got my ears pierced at 13 but haven’t worn earrings since 14 maybe. One of my very few regrets.

Do you have tattoos?
No.

Do you drive a stick?
No.

What’s one trait you hate in a person?
Lack of rationality.

What kind of watch do you wear?
Grey J12

Do you consider yourself materialistic?
Yes and no. On one hand, I live in an apartment the size of a hotel room. I don’t own much. on the other hand I have a predilection for Chanel and spend more on plane tickets in a year than most people do in a decade. It’s a weird kind of pseudo-minimalism that annoying people preach about, spending money on experiences not things, or at least a small number of carefully selected things.

What do you cook the best?
Simple stuff - eggs, roasted veg, stuff like that. I don’t care enough about food anymore to get fancy.

Favorite writing instrument?
Fountain pen dipped in fresh India Ink

Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
At this point in my life I’ve learned to enjoy standing out. Which is good, considering some of the situations I’ve been thrown into over the past few years.

Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
If there was some good reason, sure, but otherwise no.

What’s one car you will never buy?
A fern green 2004 Pontiac Aztek

What kind of books do you like to read?
Fiction or biographies of the kind of people whose lives inspire fiction,

If you won the lottery, what would you do?
Assuming it was a decent amount of money, I’d buy an apartment in my current neighborhood, with nice views and lots of space to entertain. Other than that I don’t know that I’d change too much.

Burial or cremation?
Cremation.

How many online journals do you read regularly?
Maybe 20

What’s one thing you’re a loser at?
Self-discipline

If you don’t like a person, how do you show it?
Give the cold shoulder

Do you cry in front of your friends?
Nooooo. Just strangers on airplanes. Ha.

What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
I’m a low self-monitor so I asked A. He said “standoffish.”

What’s one thing you like to do alone?
Read

Are you a giver or a taker?
Taker

When’s the last time you cried?
This is hysterical and embarassing - I was watching the movie “The Greatest Showman” for the second time and started crying because it was “just so good.” Yes it was on a plane. Yes it was after several glasses of wine.

Favorite communication method?
Email

How many drinks before you’re tipsy?
One large drink.

Do you think you’re cute?
Cute enough - I have no illusions about myself but generally like the way I look and don’t think it’s hindered me professionally or in anything I’ve wanted to do.

Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
No. I have no problems changing in front of 100’s of strangers either. Swimmers are like ninjas - we are practiced in the art of changing without ever being naked.

Last updated July 12, 2018