Worst Dream To Date in Dreams

Warning this dream deals with suicide by shooting so if that is a trigger to anyone please do not read.

This is my first entry in my dream book and it is because the dream I had last night was so horrifying to me I had to share it somewhere.

I was dreaming that my dad, mom, uncle, brother, and grandfather were at what was to be my grandfather’s house, but it was slightly different than his real house. Also my grandfather passed away last Feb. so as you will see that is the only thing helping me deal with this dream.

Anyway in the dream it appeared my grandfather was losing his mind and we as a family were there discussing it and he was in another room and all of a sudden he ran out of the house with a double barrel shot gun and a hammer and ran to the yard. In my head I knew he was going to shoot himself so I ran out to the yard and there he was with the gun to his head and for some reason he was using the hammer to make it fire. ( I know that makes no sense, but it was part of the dream) I stood there screaming over and over don’t stop please stop and it didn’t help he hit the gun with the hammer and shot himself in the head and I woke up.

I was shaking and crying and my only thought was he has already passed away this was not and never will be real, but seriously what is wrong with my mind?