It's been awhile.... in In the Kingdom of Suzu

So many times I have thought of writing an entry but just never do. I am way behind on reading my favs, nothing really seems to interest me.

Things are going better with Jeff. At our last therapy session Jeff said that he thinks we are making progress which surprised me because while I think that we are getting along better, I do not trust my own thoughts, and I wish we were further in our relationship than we are. I was prescribed xanax to take twice a day altho our therapist had suggested taking as needed. So far, I have only taken it as needed as I do not want to get addicted to it. I don’t know if I would be in a better emotional state taking it as prescribed because this past week has been bad----not with Jeff but with my own thoughts and feelings. It probably hasn’t helped that our therapist was on vacation for two weeks either.

Work is a drag, more days than not I wish I didn’t have to go but then a medical bill comes for my portion of the deductible so that reminds me why I have to go till September of next year when I will be eligible for Medicare.

Jeff’s SS only is coming this month even tho he retired in April and his work made a mistake on his pension check and he needs to get that straightened out so that is also a stress factor.

Last Sunday, I dropped the food processor blade on my foot and almost cut my big toe off. Blood started gushing everywhere (taking a baby aspirin every day doesn’t help either) but Jeff really pulled thru in taking care of business. I have about five stitches and have to wear a special kind of footwear, by next Thursday the stitches and footwear should be off.

A positive is that since this all started, I have lost about 35 pounds and have kept it off which is good because I did buy some new clothes and want to be able to keep wearing them and I think I look good with the weight off.

I do try and list the positives that there are with Jeff, I guess I just want instant results, even tho we didn’t get to this point overnight, our relationship isn’t going to be healed overnight but hopefully it is heading in the right direction.

I am going to try and catch up on favs but might not be able to respond and I am going to try and be more visible here.

Value you all so much, thank you.