I Was Born In An Abundance of Inherited Sadness in Thirty-Three

Good evening my friends, how are we all doing today? Randy had his MRI/MRA on Monday and it was rough for him. I didn’t end up having to go for Jury Duty. My “group” got excused.

He went to work at 11 and I went “looking” for 2 and a half hours. I say looking because I couldn’t exactly go shopping lol. Anyway, picked him up and we went to the hospital. Apparently they told us 2PM for the MRI but they actually scheduled it at 8:30/9:00/9:30. Ugh wtf. So we had to go back at 4 and they were able to see him right away.

Took an hour and a half and when he got out of there he was in some serious pain. MRI’s are not pleasant for me either so I understand what he was going through. BLAH!

We went to the store and got some stuff for food. Came home and made that and then just hung out. My dad came into town yesterday and he and Randy almost got here at the same time. We went and had dinner at the restaurant out here. We had had an issue with the restaurant before and hadn’t been back. But it was delicious They had an all you can eat fish fry which is what me and my dad and Adam had. Randy doesn’t care for fish much so he had tacos.

The fish was amazing too. My head had hurt all freaking day though so we came home and I just kind of chilled out. It was very weird. We were all so tired by 8:30 but we just kind of hung out and watched TV. We went to bed around 10 or so but the nights sleep was just so uncomfortable I don’t know why.

And then....and then I had a dream that will stick with me forever.

This guy…Ryan Adams (DRA). He’s my favorite artist of all time. His music is the type of music that always has something to say to me, if that makes any sense. I have almost all of his albums, including his Whiskeytown music. I’ve seen him live once when he was here at the Rialto a few years ago and it was amazing.

Anyway, so my dream was very extremely vivid for my sleep not being very involved.

So my dream was as follows.

I was informed an afternoon that I was going to play host to DRA at my home while he was in town for a concert. Now, usually my house is a mess, so I called people to come help me clean. I got it clean and he showed up and he was very reserved and quiet. Just wanted a space to crash and relax. Well I had a small room that was just off of my own bedroom.

So he showed up in just a regular car, no driver, just by himself. He came in and brought in 3 guitars with him. He set up in the small room and started strumming some tunes so I asked him if I could sit in the room with him and listen. He said sure.

My dogs were super calm which is how I first knew I was dreaming. Then it started snowing. In my dream he was with me for 2 weeks. And you know how in movies when people are thrown into a situation suddenly that they might not really care for, and then at the end of it they end up either falling in love or whatever. Well it was similar to that, but not really falling in love I would say. Just more a deep appreciation.

So we became really close and every night I slept in the small room with him. Not in the same bed…But for whatever reason there was a couch and a mattress on the floor. I slept on the couch and he slept on the mattress. And throughout the night he would reach over and caress my hand or arm or something (probably because Randy was doing that for real). It was just one of those things that made my heart ache and I don’t know why.

At the end of the dream, right before I remember waking up, I was in my front yard with 4 dogs. Dice was one of them, but I didn’t recognize the others. The snow had started to melt and I was going to take a walk across the street. Well DRA had left and didn’t say bye or anything but I knew he had to be somewhere else. So it didn’t bother me. But Randy showed up and I was kind of in a daze. Kind of a state of confusion when something or someone is suddenly gone from your life. And I felt kind of defeated because of the closeness and then he was just suddenly gone.

Well at that point Randy checked the mail and there was a letter in there from DRA, addressed to Ludo Rose. For some reason I knew that it was for me. So I opened it and it said something along the lines of “Thank you for being such an amazing host, and for opening my eyes to a lot of things.” I’m not quite sure what that meant or where the name came from. I can see everything very vividly in my mind, how the house looked, how the front of the house looked, the handwriting on the envelope and everything.

I don’t know what to even think about that. Why it was Ryan Adams in that particular situation. Why it was anything like that, you know what I mean? It was just a strange dream and left me feeling like I had lost something again. I’m not sure. But I know I woke up at like 6:30 and had a horrible migraine and a horrible backache. All in all it was just a bad night’s sleep. There was a storm that came through and I think that may have had something to do with it, but who really knows, honestly.

I’ve just felt off all day today and just thinking about that dream. I love Ryan Adams and I would definitely tell him about my dream if I were to ever get the chance to meet him face to face and have a chance to sit and chat with him, you know? That would be amazing.

Anywho, enough of that weirdness. My dad and I went into town in the afternoon today to pick up a new battery for the truck. hopefully that’s what the problem was. The battery was almost 4 years old so it was dead. Got like $23 off of the new one which was good.

Had some lunch, did some shopping and then came home. Tomorrow I have an appointment at 9:15 and then we’re going to hopefully go and buy my dress for the wedding. Then gotta get Randy a shirt to match. I’m going to get my nails done next Wednesday or Thursday. Uhhhhmmm yeah, I don’t really know what else to say right now.

I had to get this dream out of my head and onto paper before I actually did forget about it. But I probably never will. I do think a lot of it has had to do with the fact that Randy and I have gotten back into a habit of being really affectionate toward each other. But it just turned it into something obscure in my mind, you know? I have a habit of doing that lol.

Anyway, that is all. Hope you all are having a good week!