um. reminded me of when i was raped. in 2017. got it.

um. i’m really tired right now. but that’s not what this entry’s about. no um. so earlier [that was today? wow i’m knackered] when i was outside the......store waiting for the lady to come pick me up when this guy comes up to me and asks either if i have smokes or a light. [since apparently i look like someone who’d have a light. doesn’t bother me.]. i said no and he went about his day and i mine.

during the whole exchange although i couldn’t put it into words untill later i was ‘oh. god’. like.............his presence was startling. nothing more happened beyond that. but my.......right foot was pointed away from him. in the event that i felt i should leave. [but i didn’t cause a anxiety and 2 again. nothing else happened.]. well i’ve since figured it out.

it reminded me of when i was raped the first time. [actually that’s the only one i’ll officially refer to as ‘rape.]. when i was 17. we were..........it was a different location he was in front of me and uh.........well stuff went down. [or actually.........]. i won’t detail that’s not the point of this. um.