Wednesday and Failure in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

Well, poop. I suppose I should have expected this. After not being able to get to bed last night, when I finally did drift off, my body was less than willing to leave that state of existence. So I did not wake up for my set alarm. Meaning my planned schedule of the day is considerably out of sorts. By hours and hours, in fact. But (or and)… at Chinese Law Firm I had to supply my own everything. So I had one laptop from which I did everything. It was a step down from the Prosecutor job in that regard in a big way. Yes, even though the County was broke and tiny… having some things provided is better than having no things provided. One thing that I had as a Prosecutor that worked really well? Dual Monitors. I could have two screens up and work that way. It helps a lot when you have to go back and forth with different websites/cases/types of cases. In that spirit, that is what I am doing now. I’ve rigged my desk at home to allow me full access to Personal Laptop and formerly Work Laptop. And I’m using the system like dual monitors. So… twice the ability to get things done. But I just need to actually get things done.

I responded to that need to get things done with the same logical application a child would use when told to clean his room. I realized that I was famished, and ate. While eating, caught up on Prosebox (because making phone calls while eating is rude). Responded to my Therapist about “Just checking in, you’ve been quiet so I wanted to make sure things were okay.” Yes. Things are okay. Just… busier than expected, lol. THEN it was time for phone calls and other things. So, on my list of GET DONE TODAY… how did I do?

(1) Called a random insurance agent as directed by The Marketplace. Meeting scheduled at 4 for Thursday. With the warning that “This year plans are pretty expensive.” Not surprised. It falls in line with GOP current trends. “If we can’t kill it entirely, we’ll make it as unpalatable as possible so that people will WANT IT dead.” Yeah. Government of the people, by the people… we miss you.

(2) Trying to resolve my Defense Contract Payment would require leaving the house. As that was the case, I wanted to make sure I was “prepared” to go straight from Downtown to Workout, so I prepared my bag and water and everything else with my fingers crossed that this could finally get flipping resolved. By the time everything was ready, I realized it was noon and there was no way anybody would be available for that hour. So I hung around the apartment a bit more. Found my mind wandering, then my hands. Finally, it was a reasonable time to leave understanding that there still might be nobody there to help when I arrived Downtown. But the goal was to make the whole thing last less than 30 minutes. If I could go from parked to left in 30 minutes, this trip wouldn’t cost me any money.

Well… some victories some not so victories.

The Downtown thing took longer than expected and did cost money but it also got me more answers than I was expecting. Speaking with the Juvenile Judge law clerks was awesome. They are super nice and they were super helpful and super encouraging. It was nice to be in a Law Environment and feel… good. Got several things sorted. Then I also saw some attorneys I knew from when I was actively practicing. They were super nice and they were super helpful and super encouraging. It was nice to be in a Law Environment and feel… good. This was important as it reinforced the perspective that… I seriously, honestly could make my living as an Attorney. I need to stop second guessing that. What I SUPER need to do… professionally, personally, every way… is (1) decide what kind of treatment I deserve and expect; (2) find a way to stand up for myself when I’m not receiving that kind of treatment; (3) Find a place that will treat me the way I deserve. So… yeah. Magic wand, anyone?

The great news is… barring any unexpected e-mails (which totally may happen)… that takes care of my SSA, EDMS, and SPDO concerns! Hooray. That just leaves… car license plate, registration, therapy exercises, letters to friends and Wife’s Therapist, connecting work laptop to old printer (more problematic than it sounds as software has become an issue), and then get to working on some PB entries I actually really want to write. Even takes care of the dinner from scratch thing (for now) as Wife and I cooked it together last night. Glad we did. It was a quick recipe and made enough for Dinner for me and Wife and lunches for me and Wife today. Of course, I would have preferred it made more than just 4 servings but there you go. AAAAAAAAAAaaaaand maybe start writing a book I have in me. There is a fiction book unlike anything I’ve ever conceived before brewing in me and… it is one of those things where, I think it is the right time and the right place for this story. So if I can, I’d like to write it.

As for the gym today? Again, later in the day than I would have preferred. But I’m trying to still give myself credit for going at all, especially when you add my leg pain from the morning and the large amounts of walking I did this afternoon Downtown. But I DID get to the gym. I DID get my full circuit in. I DID catch a glimpse of myself shirtless in the gym… ewww. Wish I hadn’t. lol.

Then back here to… oh yeah, it is Wednesday. Dollars to Donuts Wife will walk in soon “emotionally exhausted” “ready to quit her job, her therapy, everything” and expect me to take care of her all night. If I’m wrong, I’ll be relieved but it does seem the most likely course of events tonight.

SO… focus on tomorrow? lol

IN THAT CASE:
Thursday
- Take care of securing Car License Plate, phone Registration Office to clear up confusion
- Find a copy of free-to-download software compatible with making my laptop work with my computer
- Print off Therapy Exercises, including Narrative Therapy information
- Swim Workout
- 4:00 be at insurance meeting
- After Insurance meeting, get alcohol.
- Try to do therapy exercises with Wife.

FRIDAY
- Write letter to Wife’s therapist
- Write Letter to Jane and Buffy
- Write “Ride Your Harley”
- Dryland Exercise Workout
- Drive to MBFITWW’s place for an Anime Weekend.

So there’s that. The hope, for me right now, is that I can get as much of this Adult Paperwork stuff out of the way this week and then dedicate next week to (1) Videogames, (2) Writing… so much writing, and (3) working out. We’ll see what happens!

OH Before I forget… I wanted to do something that may be seen as a “quintessential guy” move. Fuck it, I have a few minutes, I’ll elaborate.

For those who have read me for a while, you know that art is beauty and beauty is everywhere. With me that often includes humans. So like music, I can often look out among a crowd and see beauty in different harmonies. Like “Preppy and beautiful” or “Bubbly and Beautiful” or on and on and on. Long time readers know I could easily go off on a long tangent trying to describe how I view Beautiful/Sexy/Cute/Attractive more in the line of “artwork” and less in “I’ma fuck everything I see.” Largely because the scientific concept of attraction fascinates me as an intellectual conundrum. ANYWAY, returning to the metaphor that beauty in humans can be like listening to music, the “genre” of look can also be considered like a genre of music. And have you ever just been in a mood to listen to one type of music before? Like… maybe you had a great day, so you just want to listen to Reggae all night. Or you’re ready to party, so it is time for some hardcore EDM. Or you’re feeling nostalgic and you play Nat King Cole and Louise Armstrong records for hours. That kind of thing.

I’ve always liked particular genres more than others. Sexy Librarian over Sexy Mechanic; Gothic Lolita over Puffy Princess. That kind of thing. But for some reason, some of which is explainable some of which is really not, I’ve found myself rather stuck on a specific genre lately. In fact, there could be argument that these are NOT all the same genre… but the fact that they relate to my estimation likely also speaks to what kind of “beauty mood” I’ve been in.

Eliza Dushku, allegedly
Lacey Chabert
Marla Sokoloff
Christina Ricci
Chivette
Chivette
Google Image Search Makeup
Google Image Search Makeup
Google Image Search Eye Makeup
Google Image Hair & Makeup
Google Image Eye Makeup
Chivette
Google Image Search Eye Makeup