A Bit Here, A Bit There in meh...

Nothing much to scream about really.

My daughter and I had a conversation and I told her that I can’t always trust her to tell me the truth about a lot of stuff because she has a penchant for lying to me constantly. She has an interview on Thursday. That would be great. I hope she can get this job and stay there without problems.

My attempt to save money is failing miserably. I keep getting mail to get a Discover Card. I will not fill it out only to find a hit taken to my credit and I can’t get the card. Not that I would want it. I’d probably use it to rent cars and that’s about it. But I also don’t want another avoidable bill.

I’ve started reading to my mother again.

I’ve been praying about this mean streak I have. Everyone is not a dumbass or stupid, but most people are. And when they call me at work, every time I hang up the phone I have something mean to say. When someone calls with a relatively repeat question that I know word of mouth will have told them the answer (or the website they say they are looking at) I get annoyed. I always get annoyed. That’s just me I guess. But I don’t want that to be me. And I laughed because I said to myself, You pray to stop being so mean, but you’re mean everyday. Every person with their calls, you react the same way. These are your tests and you are failing miserably. It is the truth. I’m a mess. So I keep trying.

I have a cousin in Memphis who I wish I were closer to in proximity. She kind of seems a bit drama queen-ish and extra on Facebook, but she has a good heart. I remember one time she asked me for some money, but I was broke and couldn’t give it to her. We don’t speak all the time, but we keep up with each other as best we can. She is a hair stylist I think and does work out of her house. Last month she reached out to people saying she and her children were about to be homeless and she needed help and prayers. About a few hours passed and all was okay. This past weekend, she asked for people to pray for her. Just the night before she went out to celebrate her birthday, the next morning this was her status. She video called me. I was away from my phone so I missed it. I tried to call her back, but she was on another call. So she eventually called me back. When we spoke, I saw she was in the hospital and I asked what happened. She said she had a seizure that morning and she was now in the ER. I asked if anyone was there with her and she started tearing up while telling me she has no one. I asked about her brother (with whom I use to be cool with) but she said that since “Gia” died (I don’t know if it was their mom, grandmother or what) no one has been connected for real and they may as well have died off with her. Now, I know her brother, like mine, has money. Money to the point he has this HUGE ass house. HUGE, HUGE ass house. It’s only him, his wife and two kids. I guess they have a lot of parties and shit. At any rate, I felt bad for her. One of her kids has some kind of health issue I know. One of her older daughters and her aren’t speaking. Matter of fact, she calls that daughter The Devil Sent to Attack Her. I use to be FB friends with that daughter, too. I guess, they fell out and she didn’t want any part of me either. I don’t give a shit. But with her in the hospital, it made me sad for her. I know how it feels to be alone. And I hate when people start that, “I ought to come up there and get a fresh start.” St. Louis, for all that I love about it, it’s hard, a hard place to get by in. If you don’t have money, you’re kind of SOL. If you know how to get and make money and make shit happen for you, then you are golden. But if you’re like me and you do what other people do and you still can’t get ahead, then you’re SOL. But I also hate it because I can’t provide you a place to live and be. And after the fairytale of you being around me is over, I need to be myself and sometimes, that ain’t a good look. Everyone doesn’t mesh well and I don’t be around her like that to know if we mesh well.

So I offered my prayers and I prayed for her. I checked in to see how she was and she just got home today. This was from Saturday morning. Damn. At any rate, she’s feeling better.

I’ve been looking up things to do and places to go under my own steam. I am also going to clean up my block. I don’t have a rake, but I will just pick up trash. It needs to happen. I miss the way my neighborhood was when I moved over here. Wish I had a power washer. I’d use my Mr. Clean and just spray the sidewalks and make them smell good instead of like piss in that one area. LOL

I’d been thinking of doing that anyway.

Tonight, I’m going to this presentation at the History Museum that my cousin is performing in. Just like the one last year, but the one last year was I think in the summer. This is in conjunction with the ending of a an exhibit about the civil rights movement that I had not been able to get to because I’m lame.

I have a staff meeting next Wednesday, Earth Day in the Park is the 21st. I want to go. I’m going to go. I went last time because I had a van, but I’m going to public transit myself and be okay with that. AND wear the same outfit I wore then too. LOL

I don’t mind my graying hair, but I kind of want to color it too. I think I need to make my hair healthy before I color it, but that could take forever. I’m not willing to wait that long. lol

For the most part I’ve been doing okay.
I’m about to settle in and listen to this podcast, Ear Hustle.

Have a great day.

Kindest regards,
Sister