but then. so. who am i really put out by? in 2017. got it.

i don’t understand the things i do....... it’s, from a song.

um. i’m not sure, if i’ve mentioned this or not but. some time ago recently my mom told me that valerie had told her about the red truck guy thing. but that 1 she was super impressed by the way i handled things and 2 it was just in casual conversation.
but i thought. valerie had done it well partially to break my trust. cause well this is part of a mental disorder i have.
but well. it’s fine if she’s impressed by something er the way i handled something. but. she should have told me. or maybe.........not? i don’t know.
i’m having trouble understanding this. er my feelings on this rather i mean.