Fuck you in Riverdale

So hurt by nas. Hes the only real person  in my life and he fucks me than ignores me. Such an asshole. I always feel so used. I dont understand why he does that. I told him not to speak to me again  but we might again

 Im just hoping i mean it this time because it always  seems harmless  but than im hurting  because of him again.



Anyways been feeling very tired lately. I just woke  up from a nap that lasted a bit. I think i fell asleep around 8.



I have been  feeling very restless and not at peace lately.  I tried to drink but it just made me feel more ugh. My thoughts keep racing and ruminating.  Im doing this meditation though and it helps to have something to listen to other than my own thoughts.  I keep falling asleep to it. I also refilled my seraquel perscription.



Im thinking  about going to this zine fair tomm at Ocad. Its free  i think. And need something  to stir my creative juices.



I also called this program called youth job corps because its paid. But i wanna ask if you get paid bi weekly or what. If i get paid all at the end fuck it. It cuts into school so i wanna  be a bit picky about it since its far to go to and long ass hours.  But i need to milk these  youth programs for as long as i am 30 and eligible. Because  theres nothing like that for us old geezers afterwards.  You are on your own.



6 days till first day of spring.

16 days till end of the month.

Last updated March 16, 2018