Show The World You’ve Got That Fire... in Chapter 9 : Oil Above Water

Today has been a good day. Well mostly. It’s been the little things. Chilli Sweeties, Hot Lemon Tea, oh and getting to smash a sociological/health promotion assessment. I fucking love Tuesday classes. I should have listened to my instincts all those years ago and done a sociology degree instead of accountancy. Then I would never have gone for that job, I wouldn’t have been made redundant, and maybe things would have been different? I should trust my instincts, had I done that I wouldn’t have left the cabaret job either. Sure the pay wasn’t great but I loved that job. It had everything; bar work, singing, dancing. Oh well, such is life.

Looking forwards, there’s always post-grad opportunities I guess, never say never, right? I’m more likely to have actually made it before I can convincingly fake shit. Today I actually said it out loud; that I’m aiming for a Doctorate. It felt safe to say. I knew there would be no mocking, no-one to tell me I couldn’t, that I’m not capable. I think I can say that the Hypno/NLP, Talking Therapy every Wednesday and new meds are actually making a real difference. I feel different inside, lighter, warmer. Today it all felt real, that I will one day be back in there teaching the subjects that I love. Today I could see myself doing it. Today I felt like I was plugged in to the same reality as everyone else instead of being disconnected. The lights were on inside and there was actually a glimmer of hope shining within me. Today felt safe. Today felt good. Today was a good day.

Last updated March 20, 2018