Refuse to have kids, broke and depressed in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

Due to snow days i only got $137 this paycheck. Talan asked me if he can have $70 to buy him pants. I told him no. He got irritated said but he needs it. I told him of he needs it so bad he needs to quit making excuses and quit calling into work. He started arguing with me because he called into work called in this morning because he wasnt in the mood. I slept 4 hours still went to work.

He been wanting to have children but shows no responsibility most of the time. I often cover his part of the bills. He keeps telling me i need to save money. I cant save money for covering his ass.

I told him i am thinking having a complete hysterectomy to be sure we dont have kids. I refuse to have kids because if i cant feed them i will not conceive them. I told him if i have a child they deserve a responsible father who helps me.He grew upset started putting in job applications. When i came home he let me soak in a bath Rubbed my sore muscles. he sent me to bed early after he cooked me dinner. I wanted to watch tv he refuse to let me. Told me i am to tired to enjoy tv sent me to bed. He is now in next room playing video games after trying to convince me the storage room would make a great baby room.

He was talking about on 1987 van he was thinking of having his mom help us buy for when we have kids. We have a vehicle a piece with some repairs my 2001 bravada been dependable so far. He has a subaru with maintenance i am sure his car is fine. He wants to spend money when we should be paying payments on our mobile home we owe money on. He is hard to talk logic to.

I sometimes wished i stripped when i was younger when i had the body. It was easy cash but my morals stopped me then. Now i know i am to fat and i cant dance. I have no choice but to work.

Adelson found out i am looking for a job. My fellow security guard is trying to keep me at the school to stay. Offered help me find some ballgames for easy money. He doesnt realize my car uses a lot of gas because it needs maintaince. 35 minute drive one way and 1/4 a tank of gas a day means most my money is going back into my gas tank. I desire a job closer to home. I could save tons of money!

I think i am going to open a secret bank account stick $20 or more every week add the money up. Dont tell Talan so i have money with time to pay my mom off for mobile home. Talan ignores that bill. He doesnt have to hear her complain he is a worthless parasite living in her mobile home.

Mom complains so much i avoid her. I just dont have money she demands it not realizing i am just barely getting by counting change. I need a 2nd job or something. I am failing at life.. Got to put in more job applications hope for best.