"REALISTICALLY-SPEAKING" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

I’m not arrogant
I’ve been adjusted to being alone
solving problems on my own
afraid to be (too) dependent
the moment I start asking
for your assistance

I know my pride’s still bigger
than my common sense
I know my walls have already been torn down
Now they’re just debris on the ground

Maybe I need to change
some of my old habits
They might make you cringe
I’m still learning to admit
some do need rearranged

Maybe I’m still a cold cynic
somewhere deep down inside
Can you see I’m afraid
to let myself get weak?
This transformation leaves me feeling weird

Realistically-speaking,
my hands are still trembling
trying to reach out
to where you are
despite the ghosts of doubts

What’s happening to me?
Where’s the girl I used to be?
I’m half-expecting you to choose
either “fight or flight”
if my flaws turn out to be
nothing but a frightening sight

R.