valerie thing. scheduling. in 2017. got it.

so my schedule’s changing. well rather valerie’s changing it i’m just going along w/ it. We’re still meeting on Mon. but from 5- 8. yeah apparently she emailed me Thurs. at 12. right when i’m on the bus. oh that’s a fukin great time to email me. i don’t have the internet on my phone and i don’t uh. check my email when i’m at my mom’s. honestly if it’s that important. the person can pick up the phone and like call me.
so in the email she sent to my mom. She said she wants to keep working w/ me. yes doing what, exactly? how is she helping me? she’s not actually. other then being a ride for me to run errands and taking me out to eat. [ok and yes i do buy my own food.]. which sounds kindof bad like i’m using her just for that. like i don’t actually want to spend any time w/ her.
well.......i don’t.
actually i was thinking about it. and. i think i’m using my TBI as an excuse to not be nice to her. which really isn’t good. like ‘oh i have a TBI so i can be as much of a bitch as i want’. I’m not well. mean to her but I’m not pleasent either. and. i’m tired of being nice. of being pleasent. i’d had it. well. sometimes people w/ TBIs actually can’t. control how they are.
before my mom told me. the details of the schedule change. I was hoping that valerie would stop working w/ me. that she’d give up on me. but I was thinking about it. and. um. if I didn’t see her. she wouldn’t be my ride. I wouldn’t get money. so.
i just. I want a reaction from her and that’s why I keep pushing her. but ya know. to be completely straight about it. and i might not ever get that. so. i want people to be who they are around me. unless they’re her and then i don’t.
so idinno. more of the same i guess. somewhat.