Living life. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I haven’t wrote for quite a while because I’ve just been so busy and tired. It’s exhausting being a single Mom, working, making sure bills are paid, and keeping the house clean. It’s also been ridiculously cold here and I’m seriously over it. I just don’t tolerate the cold as well as I used to since I was pregnant and because I’m getting older.

There’s been a lot of shit going on lately. My Mom came and spent the night about 3 weeks ago and promised to get up with my daughter in the morning because she kept me up until 1am. I wake up at 7:30 to my daughter crying really hard right next to my Mom and she didn’t do anything. I waited around for about 3 hours for her to wake up and she didn’t so I took my daughter and ran around all day. Come to find out, she took my bottle of diabetic medication. I text her and she said that she would bring them to my work and never did. I went to text her a few days later and low and behold, she blocked my fucking number.

I haven’t had contact with her since and don’t plan to. I can’t have people not only mooching off me, but straight up stealing from me anymore. I am so tired of my parents and their selfishness and all out mooching behavior. I got really sick a couple of weeks ago and messaged BD asking him to come help with the baby because my back also went out so I was struggling to pick her up and was sick to the point where I couldn’t eat or even get comfortable enough to try and lay down. He of course had some fucking excuse. He had spent the night and I went through his phone yet again and found out he’s still doing all the same shit as before. He had asked to take the baby to his Mom’s but after I went through his phone, he called me ever name in the book so I said no.

This is the second time I’ve given him a chance to actually be there when I needed him and help with her and he doesn’t. I have since blocked him and accept that it’s never going to change and it’s time to be completely done. I’ve told my friend I don’t want any more screenshots and I’m now ready to get on with my own life. I now have no contact with my family or him. It’s very scary and overwhelming to be a single parent but it’s a lot easier than dealing with bullshit too.

Tomorrow I have to drop her off early because i have a dr appointment so I won’t see her for about 10 hours and it’s hard to deal with but I don’t have anyone who can take her so I can go to my appointment and then have some time with her before I have to work. I just have to keep in mind that it’s only tomorrow. I do have a couple of other appointments coming up but that’s next month. I just don’t like being away from her unless it’s completely unavoidable.

Usually on my days off, I just stay home with her and hang out but yesterday we went and got her some new clothes and I got a new pair of shoes and then got her ears pierced. They look absolutely beautiful and she only cried for a few seconds. I’ve been wanting to get her ears pierced for awhile but everyone kept talking me out of it because she’s so little but they can do it when they are 3 months. She’s doing really well, eating baby food and almost crawling. I can’t believe my child is 6 months old already. She had her shots on Wednesday and did really good with that too. I guess she had a fever of 100.4 and daycare wanted me to come get her early and take her in but the dr had already told me that there’s nothing they can really do until it’s about 104.00 and even 102.00 isn’t alarming because it’s high enough to fight whatever is going on. It worked out and I was able to get my night at work over with and pick her up.

Saturday was probably the best day I’ve had in a while. My child slept through the night for the first time all week (probably growth spurt) and took a 4 hour nap so I was able to get some sleep too. I got to work and a customer gave me a really nice compliment so my boss gave me a gift card. Saturday nights I don’t have to get my kid until 1am so I always just go get groceries and whatever else I need, come home, put stuff away and then just hang out until I go pick her up.

I feel better about my situation now than I have since I found out I was pregnant. I’ll be okay and I refuse to sit around being upset that everyone is the way they are. It’s their choice if they want to miss out on my child. I’m really pissed that my Mom is such a lazy, selfish fucking bitch but I’m better off without her too. She fucking ate probably $40 worth of food, left a mess on the counter and a bunch of dirty dishes AND took my fucking prescription! It’s not my fault she can’t afford to spend the money going to the dr to get her own and then says I told her she could have them?! Ugh, no I most certainly did not. Oh well, I had another refill (thank god) and I will be buying a safe so I will never again have to worry about things walking off.

Anyways, I’m going to relax while baby is napping.