Work, lack of sleep, drama. in Since OD is shutting down....

So my friend ended up going over to his Mom’s house and was able to recover my child’s belongings. He went up there once and the brother told him the stuff wasn’t there and then he went up there again a few hours later and the little sister gave him everything. I got back her little bouncy chair, the chair I got her for Christmas, her pack n play, and her walker. His Mom ended up messaging my friend and saying really hurtful things about her, and said that she should pay his CS and referred to my child as ‘that kid’ so needless to say, I think him and his whole family is the scum of the Earth and unless he takes me to court, none of them are ever going to see her again.

I have honestly never seen more drama in my entire life and I refuse to allow it to continue. I haven’t had contact with him in a month and my friend has since blocked him. He was telling her how he had diapers and formula blah blah blah but then kept saying for me to pick him up so we can go shopping for those same items. He also was no help in getting my daughter’s things back to her as ‘he didn’t leave there’ and blah blah blah because he truly just didn’t care. If he would have actually been a MAN about the situation, he would have arranged a time through my friend for him to be at her house and I could have came for the stuff.

Everything is still all my fault and he doesn’t see how he’s done anything wrong. All I know is I will not allow this behavior to ever affect my child as she lives in a drama-free bubble and I intend to keep it that way. I’m sorry that he and his family are beyond fucked up but I’m not going to tolerate it any further nor am I’m going to allow my child to be affected. I did what I could to try and set up visitation through his Mom and it didn’t work out and I can’t devote any more life energy to making it work. You can’t reason with crazy.

My days off have been pure bliss. I’ve been super tired lately due to my child not napping and yesterday we slept for 3 and a half hours and then today I was able to sleep for about 2 hours. She woke up briefly and had a bottle and has since fell back asleep. It’s been pretty warm and sunny the past few days too so that definitely helps my mood. Someone text me about coming into work tonight and I didn’t even bother to respond. I am not trying to be there especially when I have 5 days ahead of me and I like my time with my daughter.

So daycare is going to be closed from March 24th through April 2nd so I’m going to have to pay out of pocket for about 6 days. I’m pretty upset by this because every time I turn around, the damn daycare is closed for one reason or another!! I also haven’t received CS in about a month and there’s no telling when I will. All I know is that they’ve sent the paperwork to his place of employment but haven’t heard anything back. He just absolutely won’t do anything unless he’s forced to.

I’m just trying to move on with my own life now. It’s been a year and a half of non-stop, full-blown drama and I just can’t allow it anymore. I’m dealing with my own issues of being a single Mom, upset that I’ve gained some weight and feel like there’s nothing I can do about eating right or working out, dealing with issues at work, and really never having time for myself, that I just don’t feel I need to make time for extra headaches. All he EVER talks about is what I’ve done wrong, how he’s the victim, and does nothing but insult me and call me names. It’s just old and so fucking played out. I honestly could care less how this person perceives me when I’m the one who provides my child with clothing, bedding, diapers and formula, a nice, warm home, and a safe vehicle to ride in. He has NO FUCKING CLUE the pressure I’m under to be the best parent I can be.

It’s just crazy that the one person I thought would never hurt and betray me has done nothing but just that and STILL WON’T FUCKING STOP!! My friend has since blocked him and knows that i don’t plan to try and connect with him again for at least a year. I’ve tried to end contact for several months thinking that maybe that would help him realize that I can just go away and that I don’t need anything from him and maybe for him to stop being an abusive fuck but no. I honestly think that it’s in the best interest of my daughter and myself to just completely sever ties with him and his family. All he’s ever talked about is pay CS and just staying away so I think we need to leave it at that.

His biggest issue is he doesn’t understand that I’m not going to put up with his disrespect, name calling, abuse and just down right awful behavior so he can see his child. I don’t know what is so hard about treating me with even the smallest bit of respect but he absolutely can’t do it. He does nothing but criticize me when he is around. My parenting isn’t good enough and it makes me very angry. HE isn’t there to parent her but has the nerve to bitch about how I do things?! He doesn’t believe that children need a routine to thrive either. He’s always bitched about how I’m on a schedule and blah blah blah… well I work 5 days a week and she has to go to daycare. I’m not sure how he thinks I’m paying my bills if I don’t work.

All I know is if my friend decides to unblock him and keep engaging in his nutty behavior, I will stop talking to her too. THIS SHIT HAS TO STOP! I don’t care what the fuck he has to say anymore and more often than not, he never even talks about his child, all he does is talk shit about me and how everything is my fault. He doesn’t have any decency in his body nor will he ever do anything to make me want to stay in contact with him for my daughter’s sake. I’ve tried and tried and tried and now it’s time to be done. You simply can not reason with narcissistic people. My friend and I have both tried long enough and it’s just time to be done. I only care about raising a happy, healthy child and paying my bills so that I can keep her taken care of. I’m on a road to happiness and I will not tolerate him making that impossible.

More later.