valerie thing. scheduling. anxiety. in 2018

well actually i’ve already written about the scheduling thing.
so. I have anxiety as I might’ve mentioned. and part of this is things have to be perfect. and i do mean they ‘have’ to be. it’s a compulsion. also there can’t be any changes or else someone will say something about them and that.only furthers my anxiety.
i wish valerie hadn’t changed our schedule. [ok well i agreed to it. i’m part of this too. no i know.]. bc. if there’s a change. then that means someone [read: the lady] will say something about it. which brings about my anxiety. well. more of it. but i don’t. want to be the person people have to walk on eggshells around due to this. also. I want people to be comfortable around me. so if I mention this to somebody [read: valerie] then that’s another change and it’s more anxiety and. it’s a fukin cycle it goes round and round.
so um. well that’s really it for this one.

Last updated July 15, 2018