Negative energy in Riverdale

So i got caught up in negative stiffling energy today. Im still trying to shake it off. Its been relentless. But im trying to do my best  to relax and calm down.  Its not easy.



I have so much anxiety and racing thoughts and not alot of ppl who are calm positive and understanding. So i have to do the best i can on my own to get centered again. But its so fucking hard. I feel a bit deflated and defeated.



I trusted someone i shouldnt have trusted and wasnt really validated for what she was doing. So i feel very dissapointed in it all. But at least i know now. Its always the ones who want to pry you open. Theres a good reason i dont trust or open up to ppl right away. Because they betray and disapoint you. And than you have to close this gaping  wound they forced you to open  for their own reasons. Its bullshit and it hurts and pisses me off.  I am just so over most things and ppl lately. I am getting pushed and pulled around  and i dont deserve  it. Jerked around. I want something better and more than the pathetic attempts of others.  If they care about me they will make an effort. If not fuck it and them. I dont  have time or energy to beg plead or chase someone the fuck down

 Im fucking tired. Drained. Confused and trying to figure  out things myself. Its a waste of my time and its like banging on this locked iron clad door anyways.  Where only crumbs get thrown my way. Fuck that. I want need and deserve more than that. I know my worth.  I know what i want and im not going to wait around  for people to realize this. I will show them one day and theyll be shitting their pants with all that i will accomplish when the right ppl believe in me and give me a fucking  chance to prove it. I can move mountains. I am unstoppable. I know this.

I get sick and tired of these red tape things i can tell its fixed and favouritism  nothing  more. Its not me

 Its THEM.