SU. and panic attack. in 2017. got it.

so this is from the 7th:

‘so about 20 mins. ago i was SU w/ ideal. [SU idealisa........that.]. so i went on wikihow to look up. How to help someone who is. As I was watching tv online. And then my SU thoughts got worse. [i won’t post details, for confidentiality/privacy reasons.]. so. I didn’t think being in my rm. was helping.

I went into the bathroom where. apparently i had a panic attack. omygod they’re terrifying. oh wow. but i was telling myself what it was. after 10 mins. i was better. [ok not great but better.].

so yeah. i’m clearly not great in fact i’m broken. and. don’t tell me i’m not. just believe that i believe it.’